A month and a half, huh? I officially suck.
So much has happened since my last post. We've been passing back and forth all kinds of icky germs. I'm sick again for like the third time in three months. I have no doubt that my illnesses are due to my lack of exercising, eating like complete poo, and my inordinate amounts of stress. Adrian has been sick off and on several times as well and Collin was sick with strep throat for a week, two weeks before Thanksgiving. I have never seen any of my boys that sick ever! His fever got up to 104.9 and we had a hell of a time getting him to eat/drink anything but he finally got over it a week later.
As far as work goes, I have been going on weekly client meetings, trying to save the clients I've got left and trying to get some of them to return. The good news (for us at least) is that the new company that my group of clients went with is doing a terrible job at servicing them and so they are slowly coming back. It's still hard for me that they're gone; I took everything personally and shouldn't have because each one of them I have talked to have indicated that it was not a service issue with me. In fact, they've done wonders for my ego in telling me how much they appreciate all of the help I've given them, how wonderful I am, blah, blah, blah. :D
I also started on my co-op experience class aka internship this month. I'm SO excited because I am assisting on some top secret (just kidding!) human resources projects for 2010. The company is finally getting back to employee appreciation and building back up morale and fostering warm, fuzzy feelings amongst employees. I'm pumped to be along for the ride at this point in time and can definitely see myself staying there long-term.
Family-wise, things have been difficult. We have been helping a close family member with their coming to terms with their alcoholism, and to say it's been hard would be an understatement. This is an on-going issue that isn't going to go away by itself so we have been doing everything that we can to be supportive and help with what we can with this family member. Matt's grandpa has both leukemia and malignant melanoma and they think it has spread to his lymph nodes. My grandma's health has been rapidly deteriorating since August. She started having heart palpitations, feeling faint, and having shortness of breath. They found out that one of her heart chambers is beating too fast and the other too slow. They have shocked her heart twice, to no avail, so now she is on multiple medications to keep her comfortable and give her some quality of life. There is nothing more they can do since she wouldn't survive a surgery. It saddens me because she is just a shell of herself. She has never been a lazy person. In fact, the woman is almost 85 years old and until all of this she was doing volunteer work constantly and had a better social calendar than I did. Now she can't even walk very far or do her own housework. She's got to depend on meals on wheels for food and family to help with everything else. It is going to kill me when she dies because she is my heart. As I've mentioned before, I had a shitty childhood but she was my bright spot. We spent all of our extra time with her and she was the reason why we had any sense of normalcy growing up. I don't know what I would have done without her nor where I'd be today, since I credit so much of my success to her setting such a great example of a strong woman for me.
On to some happy news...we are planning a trip to Ireland in February. Our friends Leah & Trevor are moving back to the States permanently in late March / early April and our trip to Ireland on a budget is pretty much now or never. We are not 100% certain we are going just yet because of our grandparents' health. However, I know my Grandma well enough to know that she wouldn't want me to miss out on this opportunity because of what may or may not happen while we're gone. I've just got to check on some things with trip insurance and then we'll decide from there. Keep your fingers crossed!
Lastly, the dreaded update...weight loss is officially non-existent at this point in time. Between my absolutely dreadful fall quarter at school, overtime, family drama, and now this internship, it's been extremely difficult to get myself back on track. I know that I am using food to get myself through this tough time but I honestly think I'd have a nervous breakdown otherwise (well that and if I didn't have my handy-dandy anti-depressants). Matt & I have decided that as of the beginning of January, we are getting our asses in gear and getting back on track. We're actually paying off a chunk of debt and I think that will free up some money to get a membership to the YMCA. That will help out a lot, plus my classes next quarter are on-line and my internship stuff should slow way down. I am disappointed in myself that I can't get myself to stick to my program during the tough times but it's SO hard. I'm actually so desperate to lose weight that I've contemplated the dreaded weight-loss surgery but I know that a) I'd have to get my eating under control, b) it'd be next to impossible to get anything approved under health insurance since I don't have any other health problems, and c) Matt would never, in a million years, let me get the surgery. So...I guess it's back to good old fashioned hard work, self-discipline, and dedication in less than a month.
Oh, and I haven't even gotten on a scale yet. I'm back up to a size 20 (and those are getting tight), so I'd venture to say I'm back up to frickin 240+ again. So depressing!
However...I keep telling myself that if the Biggest Loser contestants can do it that I can too! :) I'll keep you posted on everything. (for the two of you that still keep up on my blog ;)
Monday, December 14, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
I'm around...
Just dealing with a crapload of illnesses around here.
Saturday I woke up and had lost my voice, couldn't breathe, and just felt like crap. Went to urgent care, got a Z-pack, and feel much better now. Unfortunately, Matt is sick, Adrian was sick (yesterday), and Collin has been sick since this weekend. We found out after two doctor visits that the little guy has strep throat. I honestly freaked myself out and thought for sure that he had H1N1 after Matt and my mother-in-law kept yapping in my ear about it (and I promised myself that I wasn't going to be one of THOSE people). It was pretty scary though; his fever got up to 104.9 and neither Tylenol or Motrin would bring it down. He finally seems to have turned a corner. Let's hope so since I only have 2 PTO days to last me until January.
I haven't weighed in and probably won't until after Halloween. I'm not binging but I'm not on Weight Watchers like I should be. I haven't been able to work out either. I may on Friday though...
I just wanted to let y'all know that I'm alive. :)
Saturday I woke up and had lost my voice, couldn't breathe, and just felt like crap. Went to urgent care, got a Z-pack, and feel much better now. Unfortunately, Matt is sick, Adrian was sick (yesterday), and Collin has been sick since this weekend. We found out after two doctor visits that the little guy has strep throat. I honestly freaked myself out and thought for sure that he had H1N1 after Matt and my mother-in-law kept yapping in my ear about it (and I promised myself that I wasn't going to be one of THOSE people). It was pretty scary though; his fever got up to 104.9 and neither Tylenol or Motrin would bring it down. He finally seems to have turned a corner. Let's hope so since I only have 2 PTO days to last me until January.
I haven't weighed in and probably won't until after Halloween. I'm not binging but I'm not on Weight Watchers like I should be. I haven't been able to work out either. I may on Friday though...
I just wanted to let y'all know that I'm alive. :)
Friday, October 23, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Sick a-frickin-gain!
I noticed last night that my throat was hurting a little before I went to bed last night. I ended up getting next to no sleep because I woke up at least a dozen times with a stuffy nose and really sore throat. I barely made it through work. I would have went home had I had more PTO time left. I came home tonight and have been hibernating in the bedroom in full-on sweats and comforters. I finally broke down and bought one of those Temporal Scanner thermometers since I can't ever get an accurate reading for Collin. I doubt I'll ever go back to regular thermometers again. Anywho...my fever is a smidgen over 100. I just downed some Theraflu so I'll hopefully get some sleep and get to feeling better tomorrow. I'm just peeved about being sick. This kind of shit always happens to me when I finally get motivated to eat well and get on a good workout schedule. Argh!
I'm really going to be pissed if this screws up my weigh-in next week.
I'm really going to be pissed if this screws up my weigh-in next week.
Monday, October 19, 2009
It's my own fault!
I only lost 1.2 lbs. this week. I don't think that it was the Chinese food or even the mounds of Smarties I had every day last week (which I logged by the way). I am having a difficult time getting in my veggies and I think I might have had 16 oz. of water yesterday. I also had low point days on Saturday and Sunday. So...that's what I think the deal with that was. I'm happy though. A pound is a pound is a pound.
I jogged again today. I shaved another 1.5 minutes off of my normal path and jogged almost an entire mile - I had to take a minute break (or so) to catch my breath but I felt awesome when I was done! I think I'm going to shoot for jogging or using the elliptical three times this week. I'm really enjoying exercising again...thank God!
Oh, and sorry I'm blogging so late. My frickin work has blocked portions of Blogger - like the one I need to sign in and create a new post. Douchebags. What pisses me off the most is that for the most part, I only get on-line on my breaks and during lunch time. It's the Effers that abuse the privilege that ruin the rest of it for us.
I jogged again today. I shaved another 1.5 minutes off of my normal path and jogged almost an entire mile - I had to take a minute break (or so) to catch my breath but I felt awesome when I was done! I think I'm going to shoot for jogging or using the elliptical three times this week. I'm really enjoying exercising again...thank God!
Oh, and sorry I'm blogging so late. My frickin work has blocked portions of Blogger - like the one I need to sign in and create a new post. Douchebags. What pisses me off the most is that for the most part, I only get on-line on my breaks and during lunch time. It's the Effers that abuse the privilege that ruin the rest of it for us.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Damn you Chinese Buffet!
I had a bad day yesterday. It started with Burger King in the morning. I decided to take Collin to BK for breakfast and bought myself a frickin Croissanwhich (sp?) meal. I originally intended to buy just coffee but caved. Lunch I did well and didn't have my normal afternoon snack. That caused me to be starving by the time I got home. Adrian has been going to the high school football games on Friday so me, Matt, and Collin have been going out to dinner. I wanted something quick so we went to the Chinese Buffet. It's SO delicious but I know it's SO bad!
On a positive note, I am fairly certain that my stomach is shrinking. I was only able to eat one plate of food and a dessert there. I am really starting to detest that stuffed feeling after eating.
You want to know what's crazy about yesterday? I don't feel that guilty about it. I'm realizing that although I'm still slipping up a little that I'm really pushing myself and making myself more accountable. I have been able to keep off about 25 lbs. for the past year. Although I wish it was more, this is the first time in my adult life that I've accomplished this.
I credit a big part of it to getting rid of my bigger clothes. I might slip up for a couple of days but as soon as I get uncomfortable in my clothes, I get right back on the wagon. Another thing that has helped me is planning my meals and keeping food that I know will trip me up out of the house completely. I also know that my weekends usually result in higher point days. That helps me pass on food during the week.
Speaking of that, I passed on not only Donato's pizza this week, but donuts too! There is always food being brought in to work and I'm learning that if I want to be able to have higher point days on the weekend, that I have to pass on stuff during the week. The crazy thing about passing on these two things was that I didn't feel deprived! I think that's probably the first time ever.
So yeah...I slipped up but I really feel like I've accomplished some things this week so that, to me, overshadows the couple of slip-ups.
P.S. I worked out twice so far this week and even started back on HIIT yesterday - 1.9 miles and 324 calories in a 1/2 hour. YEAH!
On a positive note, I am fairly certain that my stomach is shrinking. I was only able to eat one plate of food and a dessert there. I am really starting to detest that stuffed feeling after eating.
You want to know what's crazy about yesterday? I don't feel that guilty about it. I'm realizing that although I'm still slipping up a little that I'm really pushing myself and making myself more accountable. I have been able to keep off about 25 lbs. for the past year. Although I wish it was more, this is the first time in my adult life that I've accomplished this.
I credit a big part of it to getting rid of my bigger clothes. I might slip up for a couple of days but as soon as I get uncomfortable in my clothes, I get right back on the wagon. Another thing that has helped me is planning my meals and keeping food that I know will trip me up out of the house completely. I also know that my weekends usually result in higher point days. That helps me pass on food during the week.
Speaking of that, I passed on not only Donato's pizza this week, but donuts too! There is always food being brought in to work and I'm learning that if I want to be able to have higher point days on the weekend, that I have to pass on stuff during the week. The crazy thing about passing on these two things was that I didn't feel deprived! I think that's probably the first time ever.
So yeah...I slipped up but I really feel like I've accomplished some things this week so that, to me, overshadows the couple of slip-ups.
P.S. I worked out twice so far this week and even started back on HIIT yesterday - 1.9 miles and 324 calories in a 1/2 hour. YEAH!
Monday, October 12, 2009
Down another 2.4 lbs...
Despite the bad day on Tuesday, Cici's on Thursday, and Rally's on Saturday. Oh, yeah...didn't mention Saturday, did I?
Matt & I went to a 30th birthday party for one of his friends and I didn't eat or drink anything. Bad news is that we didn't get out of there and weren't able to eat dinner until close to 10:00. We ended up running through Rally's drive-thru Saturday night but I am happy to report that I got a small combo meal with a diet (instead of the super, super sized one). I really, REALLY wanted a milkshake but I didn't get one. Today I even skipped free Donato's pizza at lunch. Seriously...who skips out on Donato's pizza (almost the world's best pizza)???
Actually, the bigger reason why I skipped out is that I hate eating in front of people. I get nervous about people thinking that I'm eating too much or that they're watching Fatty McFatty, I mean, me eat. Neurotic, I know. Whatever works, right?
Oh, official weight as of this morning...229.9 lbs. My short-term goal that Weight Watchers made for me is 220 lbs. from 232.2 lbs. (when I started WW in July). Kind of depressing now that I realized that I've only lost 2 lbs. Oh, well. I'm still plugging away and that's all that matters...
Back to yesterday (God, I'm A.D.D. tonight!)...Matt made the most delicious low-point French Toast for breakfast. He is getting burned out on cooking so I told him that I would start cooking at least once a week. I'm pretty stoked because I found several WW recipes that are low in points and easy to make. I made stir-fry chicken with red/yellow peppers and cashews last night. Yummy! Collin didn't approve but I think that's just because it was too flavorful for him. The next one I'm making is Balsamic Chicken w/mushrooms. I actually might make this tomorrow if I can get my math homework/studying done tonight.
Let's just keep our fingers crossed that I don't give anyone food poisoning because that's a real possibility...
Before I forget...I did work out twice last week. Yay! Dare I shoot for three times this week???
Matt & I went to a 30th birthday party for one of his friends and I didn't eat or drink anything. Bad news is that we didn't get out of there and weren't able to eat dinner until close to 10:00. We ended up running through Rally's drive-thru Saturday night but I am happy to report that I got a small combo meal with a diet (instead of the super, super sized one). I really, REALLY wanted a milkshake but I didn't get one. Today I even skipped free Donato's pizza at lunch. Seriously...who skips out on Donato's pizza (almost the world's best pizza)???
Actually, the bigger reason why I skipped out is that I hate eating in front of people. I get nervous about people thinking that I'm eating too much or that they're watching Fatty McFatty, I mean, me eat. Neurotic, I know. Whatever works, right?
Oh, official weight as of this morning...229.9 lbs. My short-term goal that Weight Watchers made for me is 220 lbs. from 232.2 lbs. (when I started WW in July). Kind of depressing now that I realized that I've only lost 2 lbs. Oh, well. I'm still plugging away and that's all that matters...
Back to yesterday (God, I'm A.D.D. tonight!)...Matt made the most delicious low-point French Toast for breakfast. He is getting burned out on cooking so I told him that I would start cooking at least once a week. I'm pretty stoked because I found several WW recipes that are low in points and easy to make. I made stir-fry chicken with red/yellow peppers and cashews last night. Yummy! Collin didn't approve but I think that's just because it was too flavorful for him. The next one I'm making is Balsamic Chicken w/mushrooms. I actually might make this tomorrow if I can get my math homework/studying done tonight.
Let's just keep our fingers crossed that I don't give anyone food poisoning because that's a real possibility...
Before I forget...I did work out twice last week. Yay! Dare I shoot for three times this week???
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Gah!
So the dreaded Aunt Flo is here and I have the munchies like you wouldn't believe. Plus, I'm STARVING! So, I did shittily with my eating twice this week. Tuesday was completely awful. 40-some points (I only get 29 per day). Yesterday was actually good but today totally sucked (well, actually not until dinner - I did very good all day). We had to shop and didn't have time to cook dinner so we ate at CiCi's Pizza for dinner. I guess it wasn't as bad as it could have been. I had a serving of pasta in Alfredo sauce, 4 (small) pieces of pizza, 3 (small) cinnamon bun thingies, 3/4 of a piece of apple strudel pizza, and a two small brownies. Guess who is definitely out of flex points this week??? Ahh!!!
The good news of the day is that I kicked my own ass on my lunch break. I decided to get on the elliptical since it was raining outside. I went for a half hour, went 1.7 miles, and burned 320 calories. Oh, and that only earned me TWO effing activity points. That's just not even right!
On a funny kid-related note, I had an interesting conversation with Collin tonight. I was getting him ready for bed and made him go potty when I noticed that his weenis was a bit inflamed on the tip. This happens a few times a year because I think his circumcision was botched a little but don't get me started on that topic. So anyway...I decided to clean it up with some hydrogen peroxide and put some ointment on it. As I'm doing that he tells me to "Stop touching it Momma. You'll make it bigger if you don't stop!" It was funny, yet disturbing at the same time. He then mentioned something about twisting and touching it and so I'm pretty sure he's discovered the art of touching himself. Oh, joy. And so it begins...his journey to manhood when he'll never stop touching his peen. I told Matt and I think I saw a glimmer of pride in his eyes.... :oP
On a totally different note, I'm almost ready for Halloween. I'm going to be an Oktoberfest girl. I have a schweet costume and even schweeter shoes. Check these bad boys out:
I can't wait to wear these AFTER Halloween too! :D (those are 4-inch heels, by the way)
The good news of the day is that I kicked my own ass on my lunch break. I decided to get on the elliptical since it was raining outside. I went for a half hour, went 1.7 miles, and burned 320 calories. Oh, and that only earned me TWO effing activity points. That's just not even right!
On a funny kid-related note, I had an interesting conversation with Collin tonight. I was getting him ready for bed and made him go potty when I noticed that his weenis was a bit inflamed on the tip. This happens a few times a year because I think his circumcision was botched a little but don't get me started on that topic. So anyway...I decided to clean it up with some hydrogen peroxide and put some ointment on it. As I'm doing that he tells me to "Stop touching it Momma. You'll make it bigger if you don't stop!" It was funny, yet disturbing at the same time. He then mentioned something about twisting and touching it and so I'm pretty sure he's discovered the art of touching himself. Oh, joy. And so it begins...his journey to manhood when he'll never stop touching his peen. I told Matt and I think I saw a glimmer of pride in his eyes.... :oP
On a totally different note, I'm almost ready for Halloween. I'm going to be an Oktoberfest girl. I have a schweet costume and even schweeter shoes. Check these bad boys out:
I can't wait to wear these AFTER Halloween too! :D (those are 4-inch heels, by the way)
Monday, October 5, 2009
Well...it only took me 3 months but...
I started jogging again today. I was actually pretty pleased with myself. I did the 1.25 mile course here at work on my lunch hour and did it in 24 minutes. I jogged about 1/2 of that. That's definitely not lightning speed by any means but I can't believe I was able to jump right back on! :) I'm sure my body will hate me for this little stunt tomorrow.
Confession Time:
I only worked out one day last week. Too much schoolwork, poor planning, and just pure laziness contributed to all of that. I did not binge but I did go over my points on 3 of those days. I still managed to lose right about 3 lbs. so I'm happy with that.
Goal for this week: Work out twice and stay within my points for 5 out of the next 7 days.
I WILL do this! :D
Confession Time:
I only worked out one day last week. Too much schoolwork, poor planning, and just pure laziness contributed to all of that. I did not binge but I did go over my points on 3 of those days. I still managed to lose right about 3 lbs. so I'm happy with that.
Goal for this week: Work out twice and stay within my points for 5 out of the next 7 days.
I WILL do this! :D
Sunday, October 4, 2009
New glasses
So...as you know, I'm getting old (had the big 3-0 this year). I went to my every other year eye exam and was told that I need glasses. Good news is that I only need them to read.
This morning, I'm drinking my coffee and surfing the net before I get started on homework (my weekly Sunday routine) and Collin is snuggling with me. He looks over at me and says, "I want big eyes too, Momma."
Great. The one person I thought I could count on NOT to play on my insecurities did. Thanks, little buddy. Momma loves you too.
This morning, I'm drinking my coffee and surfing the net before I get started on homework (my weekly Sunday routine) and Collin is snuggling with me. He looks over at me and says, "I want big eyes too, Momma."
Great. The one person I thought I could count on NOT to play on my insecurities did. Thanks, little buddy. Momma loves you too.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Finally! Back on the road to sexiness! LOL
Ugh. I weighed in at 235.0 lbs. even this morning. The gain was completely my fault. I just kept putting it off and putting it off until I just got to the point (yet again!) that my clothes are tight and I feel like poo. No binging though...just overeating and no portion control.
I just got back from a quick 15 minute workout on the elliptical here at work. I went .9 miles and burned 160 calories. Matt picked up more rechargeable batteries for the Wii Fit yesterday (Collin managed to lose them, throw them away, or something) and so I'm going to condition myself again so I can start back on my Biggest Loser workouts. That is probably going to take a month or two. I'm taking it easy with walking/elliptical this week but starting next week, I'm going to slowly start jogging again. I really, really miss it and can't believe that I'm back to square one with that. As you may recall, I was up to 3 miles in June and I was jogging half of that! :( I'm going to get back there though, dammit!
I have a plan with this whole working out and heavy school load bit:
Monday & Wednesday - elliptical, walk, and/or jog for 15-30 minutes
Tuesday & Thursday - Wii Fit for 15-30 minutes. I am also going to do one medical terminology DVD/class at lunch so I can knock out my co-op (internship) class in about 6-8 weeks so I don't have to worry about that cutting in to workout time.
Friday - Off (or if I'm feeling really energetic - which I'm usually not - then I'll use this as a free day to do what I want)
Saturday or Sunday- Wii Fit for 30-60 minutes
Eating plan is Weight Watchers since I'm a much happier person on this. Matt is starting with me too so Yay! I just hope he stays with it because that'll make it easier for me to stay on track when I have to be somewhat accountable to him.
I just got back from a quick 15 minute workout on the elliptical here at work. I went .9 miles and burned 160 calories. Matt picked up more rechargeable batteries for the Wii Fit yesterday (Collin managed to lose them, throw them away, or something) and so I'm going to condition myself again so I can start back on my Biggest Loser workouts. That is probably going to take a month or two. I'm taking it easy with walking/elliptical this week but starting next week, I'm going to slowly start jogging again. I really, really miss it and can't believe that I'm back to square one with that. As you may recall, I was up to 3 miles in June and I was jogging half of that! :( I'm going to get back there though, dammit!
I have a plan with this whole working out and heavy school load bit:
Monday & Wednesday - elliptical, walk, and/or jog for 15-30 minutes
Tuesday & Thursday - Wii Fit for 15-30 minutes. I am also going to do one medical terminology DVD/class at lunch so I can knock out my co-op (internship) class in about 6-8 weeks so I don't have to worry about that cutting in to workout time.
Friday - Off (or if I'm feeling really energetic - which I'm usually not - then I'll use this as a free day to do what I want)
Saturday or Sunday- Wii Fit for 30-60 minutes
Eating plan is Weight Watchers since I'm a much happier person on this. Matt is starting with me too so Yay! I just hope he stays with it because that'll make it easier for me to stay on track when I have to be somewhat accountable to him.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Vacation Pics
For those of you who aren't friends with me on Facebook...
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=38428&id=1240073638&l=66677548f8
For some reason, I can't get this to hyperlink so you'll have to copy and paste into your browser. Argh!
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=38428&id=1240073638&l=66677548f8
For some reason, I can't get this to hyperlink so you'll have to copy and paste into your browser. Argh!
Monday, September 21, 2009
Maintained this week (holding steady at 232.something)
That's a good thing, right? By all means, I should have weighed more but the illness kept me from gaining. I think I'm finally over it. I went to the doctor last Tuesday, did some tests, and they couldn't find anything wrong so it was ruled as a virus. I hope that's the last time I'm sick for awhile because that lasted almost TWO WEEKS! Blech!
As long as I'm over the illness hump, I fully intend on FINALLY getting back to working out. I'm not going to push myself too hard and I'm going to ease back into. I'm shooting for twice this week so wish me luck!
Not much else going on. Started school last Wednesday. As I mentioned, this quarter is going to suck due to the 3 classes I'm taking. One of them is a Business Math class. Ugh! I thought it was going to be easy at first but after tonight's lecture, er, not so much. I will be so happy when this quarter is over!
Oh, I did run into the dreaded ex / sperm donor at Walmart tonight...almost literally! I didn't recognize him because he looked so different. I'm proud to report that I didn't say one word to him, although, I did almost have a panic attack. He's not the most mentally stable person and he has a felony-level child support hearing coming up and so I'm sure he's none too happy with me. I've actually decided to go. Child support hounded me and hounded me to "forgive" his back child support (almost $30,000) and so they're actually pissed at me that they're having to do their jobs and go after it. He is supposedly going to plead guilty but before he does, I'll have my say to hopefully influence the court's decision. What peeves me off the most is that I'm one of those mothers that actually uses my child support for my child. In fact, I have spent barely any of it. The majority of it is in a savings account for Adrian to do with as he wishes (hopefully college!) once he turns 18. I am offended that child support would even ask for me to waive it. Um, hello! It's not MY money to waive. If Adrian wants to when he gets older, that's on him. You never know...like my attorney says, he could hit the lottery tomorrow and I could get all of it paid back. Far shot, but you get my point.
As long as I'm over the illness hump, I fully intend on FINALLY getting back to working out. I'm not going to push myself too hard and I'm going to ease back into. I'm shooting for twice this week so wish me luck!
Not much else going on. Started school last Wednesday. As I mentioned, this quarter is going to suck due to the 3 classes I'm taking. One of them is a Business Math class. Ugh! I thought it was going to be easy at first but after tonight's lecture, er, not so much. I will be so happy when this quarter is over!
Oh, I did run into the dreaded ex / sperm donor at Walmart tonight...almost literally! I didn't recognize him because he looked so different. I'm proud to report that I didn't say one word to him, although, I did almost have a panic attack. He's not the most mentally stable person and he has a felony-level child support hearing coming up and so I'm sure he's none too happy with me. I've actually decided to go. Child support hounded me and hounded me to "forgive" his back child support (almost $30,000) and so they're actually pissed at me that they're having to do their jobs and go after it. He is supposedly going to plead guilty but before he does, I'll have my say to hopefully influence the court's decision. What peeves me off the most is that I'm one of those mothers that actually uses my child support for my child. In fact, I have spent barely any of it. The majority of it is in a savings account for Adrian to do with as he wishes (hopefully college!) once he turns 18. I am offended that child support would even ask for me to waive it. Um, hello! It's not MY money to waive. If Adrian wants to when he gets older, that's on him. You never know...like my attorney says, he could hit the lottery tomorrow and I could get all of it paid back. Far shot, but you get my point.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Update (man do I suck at keeping up on my blog?!)
Well...I weighed in when I got back from vacation on Friday and I gained NO weight whatsoever. I'm actually down another 4 lbs. (as of Monday - to 228.4 lbs.) since that weigh-in. I have been extremely ill since we returned last week and so I'm not on Weight Watchers or back to working out yet. As soon as I get better, it's ON. I went to the doctor's yesterday and she thinks I have a viral or bacterial infection of some sort that I picked up on vacation. She is leaning towards bacterial since I've been sick for so long. I should have my lab work by Friday afternoon and then she'll be able to prescribe me something to get better. The waiting sucks though because I feel like someone is stabbing me in the stomach and absolutely nothing makes me feel better. :(
I started back to school for Fall quarter today. I've got 3 classes this quarter so I imagine my poor blog is going to suffer some more. You can find me on Facebook though if you need to. I rarely neglect my Facebook. :)
Adrian & Collin are doing wonderful since I put Collin into daycare by himself. They hardly fight at all anymore and since Collin is on a schedule, he is thriving. He's in a good mood and we don't have discipline him nearly as much any more. He was getting to be quite a handful prior to. And...since he's on a schedule now, he goes to bed at a decent time which means I'll be able to do my homework after the kids are in bed. The downside is that I had to change my work hours a little since I can't drop him off to daycare until 6:30 a.m. so I get home later. I do get to see him (and Adrian) now in the morning, which makes me very happy though.
I do have a request for those of you that pray or believe in the power of positive thinking...I just found out on Sunday that my second cousin, a 10-year old little boy, has leukemia. He has got a long, hard battle ahead of him. I have been told that he has to go through up to 6-8 months of chemotherapy and if that doesn't work, then they'll do a bone marrow transplant. As you may recall, I signed up as a bone marrow donor this year (thanks again, Becky!) and so I have volunteered to be the first to be tested as a match since I've already been typed and he doesn't have any full siblings that can donate to him. As much as I am eager to help out how ever I can, I'm a little sad for myself. Matt & I have actually been kicking around the idea of having another baby over the next year. That is going to have to go on hold for a few months until I see how my cousin responds to his treatment. Everything happens for a reason though, right?
Until next time...
I started back to school for Fall quarter today. I've got 3 classes this quarter so I imagine my poor blog is going to suffer some more. You can find me on Facebook though if you need to. I rarely neglect my Facebook. :)
Adrian & Collin are doing wonderful since I put Collin into daycare by himself. They hardly fight at all anymore and since Collin is on a schedule, he is thriving. He's in a good mood and we don't have discipline him nearly as much any more. He was getting to be quite a handful prior to. And...since he's on a schedule now, he goes to bed at a decent time which means I'll be able to do my homework after the kids are in bed. The downside is that I had to change my work hours a little since I can't drop him off to daycare until 6:30 a.m. so I get home later. I do get to see him (and Adrian) now in the morning, which makes me very happy though.
I do have a request for those of you that pray or believe in the power of positive thinking...I just found out on Sunday that my second cousin, a 10-year old little boy, has leukemia. He has got a long, hard battle ahead of him. I have been told that he has to go through up to 6-8 months of chemotherapy and if that doesn't work, then they'll do a bone marrow transplant. As you may recall, I signed up as a bone marrow donor this year (thanks again, Becky!) and so I have volunteered to be the first to be tested as a match since I've already been typed and he doesn't have any full siblings that can donate to him. As much as I am eager to help out how ever I can, I'm a little sad for myself. Matt & I have actually been kicking around the idea of having another baby over the next year. That is going to have to go on hold for a few months until I see how my cousin responds to his treatment. Everything happens for a reason though, right?
Until next time...
Monday, August 31, 2009
Up 4.2 lbs.
Boo. However...I don't feel too guilty because I didn't binge. I think why it was up so high is because we went out for Matt's birthday and then to the Chinese buffet last night - the latter I hear is chock full o' sodium so I am certain a big part of that is water retention.
I won't be able to weigh-in while I'm gone next week. I do not plan on going hog wild though. I feel sick and gross anymore when I'm stuffed now so I have no desire to do that and drink while we're on vacation.
Work is completely insane right now. I'm not sure if I mentioned but about half of my clients in my caseload at work are leaving. I am trying my best to market to keep them with us as well as try to keep up on my own work. It's not working too well. I've been skipping breakfast most week days and there have been several other days where I haven't at lunch until 2:00 to 4:00 p.m. (today it was at 4:00; joy of joys).
Because of all this, I am (of course) worried about my job security. My co-workers continue to assure me that I am safe but I continue to remind them that you can't ever think that you're safe in this industry.
Not to mention the fact that I had to take a week off without pay. Only getting half of a paycheck sucks. Good news is that we'll be on vacation for a week so that's a week of no gas, no groceries, and minimal daycare.
We are leaving for Punta Cana on Saturday and won't be back until early Friday morning next week. I am extremely excited. Plus...I'm on the verge of a nervous break down (that's not me being melodramatic; I swear) and so I could definitely use the R&R. Collin will be away from both of us for the first time ever. Matt is quite nervous. I am too, but I think he'll have fun without us. Being hundreds of miles away from your baby does tend to be nerve wracking so I hope everything goes okay.
Speaking of my baby, he started "school" today. He did sooooo well! As soon as we walked in the door, he ditched me for the toys and other kids. I had to force him to give me a hug and kiss because he was so engrossed in playing. When Matt picked him up he was in an awesome mood and was in the same great mood when I came home. I think he will continue to do great. This daycare is the same one that Adrian went to and they teach the kids great habits / moral values.
I won't be able to weigh-in while I'm gone next week. I do not plan on going hog wild though. I feel sick and gross anymore when I'm stuffed now so I have no desire to do that and drink while we're on vacation.
Work is completely insane right now. I'm not sure if I mentioned but about half of my clients in my caseload at work are leaving. I am trying my best to market to keep them with us as well as try to keep up on my own work. It's not working too well. I've been skipping breakfast most week days and there have been several other days where I haven't at lunch until 2:00 to 4:00 p.m. (today it was at 4:00; joy of joys).
Because of all this, I am (of course) worried about my job security. My co-workers continue to assure me that I am safe but I continue to remind them that you can't ever think that you're safe in this industry.
Not to mention the fact that I had to take a week off without pay. Only getting half of a paycheck sucks. Good news is that we'll be on vacation for a week so that's a week of no gas, no groceries, and minimal daycare.
We are leaving for Punta Cana on Saturday and won't be back until early Friday morning next week. I am extremely excited. Plus...I'm on the verge of a nervous break down (that's not me being melodramatic; I swear) and so I could definitely use the R&R. Collin will be away from both of us for the first time ever. Matt is quite nervous. I am too, but I think he'll have fun without us. Being hundreds of miles away from your baby does tend to be nerve wracking so I hope everything goes okay.
Speaking of my baby, he started "school" today. He did sooooo well! As soon as we walked in the door, he ditched me for the toys and other kids. I had to force him to give me a hug and kiss because he was so engrossed in playing. When Matt picked him up he was in an awesome mood and was in the same great mood when I came home. I think he will continue to do great. This daycare is the same one that Adrian went to and they teach the kids great habits / moral values.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Down another (almost) 3 lbs...
Despite the fact that I went over my points a little and I had a few drinks with Matt on Friday night. I am trying not to beat myself up about going over my points because what is more important is that I haven't binged in over two weeks now. Yay! Oh, and my weigh-in today was 227.0 (even).
I do think I'm going to stick with WW long-term. I'm so much happier on it. Since you get flex points, you can actually "budget" for those days that you know will be high in points or if you want an extra treat. I am finally at a good point mentally too. Sure, I'm stressed out but I don't think that there's anything I can't handle right now.
I don't know if I mentioned yet, but I don't have sleep apnea. The sleep doctor said that I do snore and that's why I wake myself up sometimes but no apnea right now. :) I have another appointment with the Hematologist on Thursday so please keep your fingers crossed that my white blood cell count has went down. I am not sure what they'll do if it is still up...
Adrian started back to school today. He is a 5th grader this year. I can't believe it?! Collin starts "school" (aka daycare) next week and we couldn't be more excited. We are sending him to Adrian's old daycare and I think it will be good for him to interact with other children his age and for there to be more structure to his day than what there is now. Plus, let's face it...it'll force Mommy (me) to get my butt in gear. I will have start getting to bed at a decent time to get up a little earlier and Collin will actually go to bed earlier, which will enable me to have more time to study and more time to bond with Matt. :)
Everything seems to be all rainbows, puppies, and hearts today. I know...shoot me.
I do think I'm going to stick with WW long-term. I'm so much happier on it. Since you get flex points, you can actually "budget" for those days that you know will be high in points or if you want an extra treat. I am finally at a good point mentally too. Sure, I'm stressed out but I don't think that there's anything I can't handle right now.
I don't know if I mentioned yet, but I don't have sleep apnea. The sleep doctor said that I do snore and that's why I wake myself up sometimes but no apnea right now. :) I have another appointment with the Hematologist on Thursday so please keep your fingers crossed that my white blood cell count has went down. I am not sure what they'll do if it is still up...
Adrian started back to school today. He is a 5th grader this year. I can't believe it?! Collin starts "school" (aka daycare) next week and we couldn't be more excited. We are sending him to Adrian's old daycare and I think it will be good for him to interact with other children his age and for there to be more structure to his day than what there is now. Plus, let's face it...it'll force Mommy (me) to get my butt in gear. I will have start getting to bed at a decent time to get up a little earlier and Collin will actually go to bed earlier, which will enable me to have more time to study and more time to bond with Matt. :)
Everything seems to be all rainbows, puppies, and hearts today. I know...shoot me.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Just for Lisa...
I just realized that I rarely ever allow my picture to be taken without makeup. I had to go back to January 2007. Hope I was able to make you feel a little better... :)
As a side note, going through my pictures was a bit depressing. I even asked Matt how he even let himself be seen out in public with me last year (at my heaviest - see second picture)
On a positive note, the 3rd picture is close to my lowest weight this year; about 30 lbs. from this time last year.
Slow and steady wins the race, huh?
As a side note, going through my pictures was a bit depressing. I even asked Matt how he even let himself be seen out in public with me last year (at my heaviest - see second picture)
On a positive note, the 3rd picture is close to my lowest weight this year; about 30 lbs. from this time last year.
Slow and steady wins the race, huh?
Monday, August 17, 2009
Weekly weigh-in
Woot, woot! I lost 5.9 lbs. on my first week of Weight Watchers. I just realized last night that I forgot to note what I weighed in at. I started at 235.6 and I am 229.7 as of today. <--- ETA: Typo - it incorrectly read 239.7 when it should have said 229.7. Duh!
You have NO idea how excited I am! I used all of my flex points last week but I don't feel guilty about using them at all! I splurged on Wednesday when I got a chicken quesadilla, taco, and two cinnamon twists for dinner but I used half my flex points for that. And then this weekend, I got that McD's vanilla ice cream cone that I was craving all week. I also ended up eating some of Collin's hot fudge from his sundae as well as some sour gummy worms but I tracked everything.
It is a wonderful thing to feel no guilt in splurging within moderation! :)
I also picked up some Fiber One pancake mix and sugar-free low-calorie syrup and can't wait to try them out this weekend! Yummy, yummy, yummy!
You have NO idea how excited I am! I used all of my flex points last week but I don't feel guilty about using them at all! I splurged on Wednesday when I got a chicken quesadilla, taco, and two cinnamon twists for dinner but I used half my flex points for that. And then this weekend, I got that McD's vanilla ice cream cone that I was craving all week. I also ended up eating some of Collin's hot fudge from his sundae as well as some sour gummy worms but I tracked everything.
It is a wonderful thing to feel no guilt in splurging within moderation! :)
I also picked up some Fiber One pancake mix and sugar-free low-calorie syrup and can't wait to try them out this weekend! Yummy, yummy, yummy!
Friday, August 14, 2009
Quick update
A new resolution of mine is to keep my blog somewhat updated...
I had my sleep study on Tuesday. I was less than pleased since I didn't get to sleep until 12:30 a.m.!!! I got up at 6:30 a.m. and the sleep tech couldn't tell me that I have sleep apnea but said that I'd likely see them back in a few weeks to do another sleep study with the c-pap (breathing) machine. It sucks because I don't really want to have to use a breathing machine but at this point in time, I've been exhausted most every day since I was 16 years old and this is getting old. Plus, apparently there are a lot of health problems associated with sleep apnea like diabetes and heart disease.
I saw the hematologist on Wednesday. I had to get more blood drawn. He believes that my high white blood cell count is due to an underlying infection (don't know where), an inflammatory disease process (such as rheumatoid arthritis), or worst case scenario (and very doubtful since I'm young - LOL), is a bone marrow disease where the body produces too much bone marrow. If the count continues to be high and they can't find a reason for it, I may have to undergo a bone marrow biopsy. Needless to say, I hope they find out what the deal is through my blood work.
Child supported called on Wednesday. For those of you who don't know, ex-sperm donor is behind about $27,000 in child support and they are finally prosecuting him for a felony level non-support charge. Even though Matt adopted Adrian, we did not waive the back child support since I'm a firm believer that child support is for the child and should be used for them. We've actually saved most of what we did get (about $1200) and put it in a savings account for Adrian to use for college, a car, or whatever he needs when he gets older since we don't really need it. It will be interesting to see how this turns out.
Lastly, I did go over my points on Wednesday (by 18.5 - yikes! However, no binging - yay me!) but was under by about 7.5 yesterday. I actually still have 16.5 flex points left until Sunday night so guess what I'm going to splurge on this weekend? A vanilla ice cream cone from McDonald's since they are only 3 points. Can't wait! :)
I had my sleep study on Tuesday. I was less than pleased since I didn't get to sleep until 12:30 a.m.!!! I got up at 6:30 a.m. and the sleep tech couldn't tell me that I have sleep apnea but said that I'd likely see them back in a few weeks to do another sleep study with the c-pap (breathing) machine. It sucks because I don't really want to have to use a breathing machine but at this point in time, I've been exhausted most every day since I was 16 years old and this is getting old. Plus, apparently there are a lot of health problems associated with sleep apnea like diabetes and heart disease.
I saw the hematologist on Wednesday. I had to get more blood drawn. He believes that my high white blood cell count is due to an underlying infection (don't know where), an inflammatory disease process (such as rheumatoid arthritis), or worst case scenario (and very doubtful since I'm young - LOL), is a bone marrow disease where the body produces too much bone marrow. If the count continues to be high and they can't find a reason for it, I may have to undergo a bone marrow biopsy. Needless to say, I hope they find out what the deal is through my blood work.
Child supported called on Wednesday. For those of you who don't know, ex-sperm donor is behind about $27,000 in child support and they are finally prosecuting him for a felony level non-support charge. Even though Matt adopted Adrian, we did not waive the back child support since I'm a firm believer that child support is for the child and should be used for them. We've actually saved most of what we did get (about $1200) and put it in a savings account for Adrian to use for college, a car, or whatever he needs when he gets older since we don't really need it. It will be interesting to see how this turns out.
Lastly, I did go over my points on Wednesday (by 18.5 - yikes! However, no binging - yay me!) but was under by about 7.5 yesterday. I actually still have 16.5 flex points left until Sunday night so guess what I'm going to splurge on this weekend? A vanilla ice cream cone from McDonald's since they are only 3 points. Can't wait! :)
Monday, August 10, 2009
Did really good today!
I am 7.5 points under my daily points and I actually earned like 14 activity points. I'm starving so I'm going to have myself a bowl of cereal and not feel guilty about it. :)
Jody and I decided to have a mini-contest this month through the 4th (my last day of work before Punta Cana). She only has maybe 15-20 lbs. to lose and unfortunately, I've got about 85 lbs. that I want to lose. So...her goal is 2.5% of her weight by then and mine is 5% or 12 lbs. Yeah...that's a bit high but since I have relatively nothing coming up that would cause me to fall off the wagon drastically (i.e. camping, parties, etc.), I think I can do it. She has conned me into walking outside during our breaks since we can't work out at lunch (I'm tanning :). We also have some time management issues (me more so than her) so we're making weekly goals to help out with other stuff. For example, this week, we are going to shoot for a solid 1/2 hour of cleaning around our house and then 15 minutes of moderate intensity exercise at night (on top of the 1/2 hour of walking during our breaks at work). If we do that, we break up the exercise throughout the day and end up getting in 45 minutes everyday. The actual loser of our challenge will present the winner with a small gift. If we both meet/exceed our goals, then we get each other a little gift. We're both really excited!
The sleep study is tomorrow night. I am sooo not looking forward to it but I'm doing it in hopes that I can find a reason for the chronic fatigue I've been struggling with since high school.
I don't know if I mentioned but my thyroid testing came back normal. If nothing is found through the sleep study, I'm demanding my levels (since my doctor has never mentioned them) to see if I need to go to an endocrinologist for a more sensitive thyroid test. I've heard from numerous people that their thyroid problems weren't caught on the normal blood tests (i.e. they were in the low normal range) and I've got a lot of the symptoms of a thyroid problem - my hair falls out by the handfuls, dry skin, extreme fatigue despite 8+ hours of sleep, and extreme weight gain - 80 lbs. in 6 years.
Of course I am well aware that my lifestyle definitely contributes to much of my weight problem but I still think there is something going on that they can't put their finger on.
I'll keep you posted.
Jody and I decided to have a mini-contest this month through the 4th (my last day of work before Punta Cana). She only has maybe 15-20 lbs. to lose and unfortunately, I've got about 85 lbs. that I want to lose. So...her goal is 2.5% of her weight by then and mine is 5% or 12 lbs. Yeah...that's a bit high but since I have relatively nothing coming up that would cause me to fall off the wagon drastically (i.e. camping, parties, etc.), I think I can do it. She has conned me into walking outside during our breaks since we can't work out at lunch (I'm tanning :). We also have some time management issues (me more so than her) so we're making weekly goals to help out with other stuff. For example, this week, we are going to shoot for a solid 1/2 hour of cleaning around our house and then 15 minutes of moderate intensity exercise at night (on top of the 1/2 hour of walking during our breaks at work). If we do that, we break up the exercise throughout the day and end up getting in 45 minutes everyday. The actual loser of our challenge will present the winner with a small gift. If we both meet/exceed our goals, then we get each other a little gift. We're both really excited!
The sleep study is tomorrow night. I am sooo not looking forward to it but I'm doing it in hopes that I can find a reason for the chronic fatigue I've been struggling with since high school.
I don't know if I mentioned but my thyroid testing came back normal. If nothing is found through the sleep study, I'm demanding my levels (since my doctor has never mentioned them) to see if I need to go to an endocrinologist for a more sensitive thyroid test. I've heard from numerous people that their thyroid problems weren't caught on the normal blood tests (i.e. they were in the low normal range) and I've got a lot of the symptoms of a thyroid problem - my hair falls out by the handfuls, dry skin, extreme fatigue despite 8+ hours of sleep, and extreme weight gain - 80 lbs. in 6 years.
Of course I am well aware that my lifestyle definitely contributes to much of my weight problem but I still think there is something going on that they can't put their finger on.
I'll keep you posted.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
I seriously don't know WTH is wrong with me?!?!?!
I started Weight Watchers for like 5 days and actually managed to lose 4 lbs. in that time. We went camping last weekend and all eating rules went out the window. We had a concert to go to (TOOL :D) this past Friday and so I put off getting back on track until today which is turning in to tomorrow.
I don't know why I do this to myself. I did soooo good for a long time. I lost 30 lbs. in a year! Now it's all about self-sabotage lately. I haven't worked out in over a month and I feel like shit. I eat complete crap too and so that doesn't help matters any. I have a ton of support but I don't utilize it. Instead I hide out from everyone when I'm in the deep, dark recesses of my binge eating.
My double chin is back. My size 18s are extremely tight on me and my belly hangs over the pants and nothing looks good on me right now. I have no idea what I weigh right now. If I had to guess, I'd say 236 but I won't know until tomorrow.
I have a little less than a month until Punta Cana so I have got to get my butt in gear. My friend Jody (my work exercise buddy) and I have decided to do a challenge this month. Unfortunately we can't work out together this month since I have to tan on my lunch hour (so I don't burn to a crisp down in PC) but we've promised each other that we will make a good effort this month. We haven't decided quite how we're going to work this yet but it's either going to be by a percentage of weight loss and/or how well we stick to our plans by working out and eating good. I think that the loser will either buy the winner lunch or get a small gift for the winner. Hopefully that, in conjunction with the upcoming trip will help light a fire under me.
School is done for the quarter...thank God! I only had one class but felt like I did a ton of work. I have 3 classes next quarter, one of which I can get started on early since it's basically credits for an "internship" so I'm going to start that.
I just got off my week long "furlough" from work and feel like I got nothing accomplished, despite the fact that I kept myself busy all day long every day. Oh, well. I tried (as usual) and that's all that matters. I'm really scared to get my pay stub this week to see how much less I'm going to get paid because of this mandatory hiatus. It's not going to be pretty but thankfully I was able to pick up some part-time work from my old job to help make up some of the difference. We have a little bit in savings too so I think we'll be okay. I just hate having to worry about money. It just brings back a lot of bad memories from growing up dirt poor and on welfare until I was a JUNIOR in high school. I NEVER want (and I refuse) to subject my children to that hell. *steps down from soap box*
I feel like a broken record peeps. But, I'm going to take this one day and one pound at a time. That's 52 lbs. in a year. I could be down to 180 lbs. by this time next year, which would put me in a size 14/16. 1 pound per week is so do-able. I will do this!!!
I don't know why I do this to myself. I did soooo good for a long time. I lost 30 lbs. in a year! Now it's all about self-sabotage lately. I haven't worked out in over a month and I feel like shit. I eat complete crap too and so that doesn't help matters any. I have a ton of support but I don't utilize it. Instead I hide out from everyone when I'm in the deep, dark recesses of my binge eating.
My double chin is back. My size 18s are extremely tight on me and my belly hangs over the pants and nothing looks good on me right now. I have no idea what I weigh right now. If I had to guess, I'd say 236 but I won't know until tomorrow.
I have a little less than a month until Punta Cana so I have got to get my butt in gear. My friend Jody (my work exercise buddy) and I have decided to do a challenge this month. Unfortunately we can't work out together this month since I have to tan on my lunch hour (so I don't burn to a crisp down in PC) but we've promised each other that we will make a good effort this month. We haven't decided quite how we're going to work this yet but it's either going to be by a percentage of weight loss and/or how well we stick to our plans by working out and eating good. I think that the loser will either buy the winner lunch or get a small gift for the winner. Hopefully that, in conjunction with the upcoming trip will help light a fire under me.
School is done for the quarter...thank God! I only had one class but felt like I did a ton of work. I have 3 classes next quarter, one of which I can get started on early since it's basically credits for an "internship" so I'm going to start that.
I just got off my week long "furlough" from work and feel like I got nothing accomplished, despite the fact that I kept myself busy all day long every day. Oh, well. I tried (as usual) and that's all that matters. I'm really scared to get my pay stub this week to see how much less I'm going to get paid because of this mandatory hiatus. It's not going to be pretty but thankfully I was able to pick up some part-time work from my old job to help make up some of the difference. We have a little bit in savings too so I think we'll be okay. I just hate having to worry about money. It just brings back a lot of bad memories from growing up dirt poor and on welfare until I was a JUNIOR in high school. I NEVER want (and I refuse) to subject my children to that hell. *steps down from soap box*
I feel like a broken record peeps. But, I'm going to take this one day and one pound at a time. That's 52 lbs. in a year. I could be down to 180 lbs. by this time next year, which would put me in a size 14/16. 1 pound per week is so do-able. I will do this!!!
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Well...
My blood work for this week came back already. My white blood cell count is still high so I get to see the Hematologist on August 13th. I'm trying not to worry but stupid me started googling things and have gotten myself all worked up. From what I gather, high white blood cells can be an indicator of high stress levels (duh!) to an infection to leukemia.
I'm betting that this is due to high stress but I guess we'll see...
I'm betting that this is due to high stress but I guess we'll see...
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Doing great!
Day two with no binging...yay! I've pretty much been right on target with my points too. Woot, woot!
I got my blood work back for my thyroid and it came back normal...once again. Argh! My white blood cell count is up high now and so I have to go back for weekly blood draws to ensure that it goes down, otherwise, I get to go to the hematologist for further workup and testing.
I am also scheduled for a sleep study August 11th, against my better judgement/wishes. I tried to tell the doctor that the reason why I am tired all the time is because I'm stressed and don't have much time to sleep. I'm stressed because I work full-time, go to school part-time, and have a family to raise/care for...plus I suck at balancing so I know I'm not doing the best I can do at this. Not to mention that I'm worried about my job security right now (who isn't right?) and money is tight for the next month. I am taking a one week unpaid "furlough" from work next week. I was kind of peeved at first until I started to talking to some of my friends and clients. One of my clients said that they made a 10% pay cut across the board at their company and a friend of mine just got offered a severance package and she's only 10 years from retirement. So...I'm just biting the bullet and am going to work from home for my old part-time job next week to try to supplement the money I'm losing.
On a good note, Only 8 more days until our TOOL concert and only a little over a month until our anniversary trip (sans kiddos) to Punta Cana. Can't wait!!!
Oh, and we're going camping at Jellystone this weekend. On one hand, I think it's a little hokey since the kids have no clue who Yogi Bear is but on the other hand, I think it's really sweet that Matt wants to create the same good memories for the kids that he had there growing up. It does appear to have quite a bit to do there so it should be fun. Collin is excited to go since he didn't get to go to South Dakota on "bacation"...this is his bacation (at least that's what we're telling him, LOL).
I got my blood work back for my thyroid and it came back normal...once again. Argh! My white blood cell count is up high now and so I have to go back for weekly blood draws to ensure that it goes down, otherwise, I get to go to the hematologist for further workup and testing.
I am also scheduled for a sleep study August 11th, against my better judgement/wishes. I tried to tell the doctor that the reason why I am tired all the time is because I'm stressed and don't have much time to sleep. I'm stressed because I work full-time, go to school part-time, and have a family to raise/care for...plus I suck at balancing so I know I'm not doing the best I can do at this. Not to mention that I'm worried about my job security right now (who isn't right?) and money is tight for the next month. I am taking a one week unpaid "furlough" from work next week. I was kind of peeved at first until I started to talking to some of my friends and clients. One of my clients said that they made a 10% pay cut across the board at their company and a friend of mine just got offered a severance package and she's only 10 years from retirement. So...I'm just biting the bullet and am going to work from home for my old part-time job next week to try to supplement the money I'm losing.
On a good note, Only 8 more days until our TOOL concert and only a little over a month until our anniversary trip (sans kiddos) to Punta Cana. Can't wait!!!
Oh, and we're going camping at Jellystone this weekend. On one hand, I think it's a little hokey since the kids have no clue who Yogi Bear is but on the other hand, I think it's really sweet that Matt wants to create the same good memories for the kids that he had there growing up. It does appear to have quite a bit to do there so it should be fun. Collin is excited to go since he didn't get to go to South Dakota on "bacation"...this is his bacation (at least that's what we're telling him, LOL).
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
I know, I know. I suck.
I debated about even posting on here since I feel like I always doom myself to failure when I do. Plus, I really, really hate having people see me fail miserably, even if it just cyberspace. But, I'm doing it anyway...putting myself out there.
I think I said awhile back that I was going back to low-carb since I am desperate to drop some weight quickly before vacation. I decided against it. What made me change my mind, you ask? Just the thought of low-carbing made my binge eating OUT OF CONTROL and I could not bring myself to start back again because it made me so depressed.
What did I learn out of all of this? That I am doomed to continue failing unless I choose a plan and stick with it. A plan that is more realistic and easier to adhere to with my on-the-go lifestyle. So...I'm back on Weight Watchers. I'm doing the on-line program and trying it for free for a week. If I like it (which I think I will), I'm going to continue using it and doing the program.
I also learned that I have got to taper down the margaritas. Even with my good eating throughout the week, I sabotage all of my efforts on the weekend when I enjoy my tasty adult beverages. I still have the Baja Bob's margarita mixes at home and so I may try those when I want one.
Getting rid of my too big clothes was the best thing I ever did too. Since I don't have anything bigger in my closet, my clothes are tight and uncomfortable and that's definitely a good motivator for me. Plus, I feel like crap. I'm tired all the time, bloated, grouchy, and my back hurts. I can't believe that my back started hurting again and that my acid reflux started acting up again with the gain of only 8 lbs.
My starting weight is 232.2 lbs. as of this morning. I'll let you know how it goes.
I apologize...yet again for letting you all down. I'm officially dusting myself off today and trying this thing again. :)
I think I said awhile back that I was going back to low-carb since I am desperate to drop some weight quickly before vacation. I decided against it. What made me change my mind, you ask? Just the thought of low-carbing made my binge eating OUT OF CONTROL and I could not bring myself to start back again because it made me so depressed.
What did I learn out of all of this? That I am doomed to continue failing unless I choose a plan and stick with it. A plan that is more realistic and easier to adhere to with my on-the-go lifestyle. So...I'm back on Weight Watchers. I'm doing the on-line program and trying it for free for a week. If I like it (which I think I will), I'm going to continue using it and doing the program.
I also learned that I have got to taper down the margaritas. Even with my good eating throughout the week, I sabotage all of my efforts on the weekend when I enjoy my tasty adult beverages. I still have the Baja Bob's margarita mixes at home and so I may try those when I want one.
Getting rid of my too big clothes was the best thing I ever did too. Since I don't have anything bigger in my closet, my clothes are tight and uncomfortable and that's definitely a good motivator for me. Plus, I feel like crap. I'm tired all the time, bloated, grouchy, and my back hurts. I can't believe that my back started hurting again and that my acid reflux started acting up again with the gain of only 8 lbs.
My starting weight is 232.2 lbs. as of this morning. I'll let you know how it goes.
I apologize...yet again for letting you all down. I'm officially dusting myself off today and trying this thing again. :)
Sunday, June 28, 2009
224.4
That's what I weighed in at today. I looked over my stats on SparkPeople and I haven't weighed this in over 2 years; since April 2007 to be exact.
I honestly haven't been on much of a plan. I'm just eating when I'm hungry, keeping up on my water, working out again (jogging), and limiting my sweets.
I am a little nervous about my eating while I'm gone in South Dakota but I think I'll do okay. I doubt I'll lose any weight but I don't expect to gain a ton. I am definitely looking forward to Indian Tacos, Blanket Dogs (hot dogs wrapped up in Indian fry bread), and Buffalo Burgers. As we all know, I hate salads; well, at least the plain Jane ones (grilled chicken and lettuce) but if we eat out, I'll probably just get grilled chicken and veggies. Now that is a good meal right there!
I've got our hotels booked already since I know there's no way that I can drive all the way through since I'm driving by myself. We'll be staying in Rochester, Minnesota on July 1st and then near South Bend, Indiana on the way back.
Adrian is stoked. He cannot wait to leave so he meet our relatives and see where are ancestors came from. I feel bad because my Mom was talking to him about making his regalia and he really thought he was going to be dancing at the tribal pow-wow. Soon enough though...
I can't remember if I mentioned it, but along the dancing at pow-wows line, I have decided to let my hair grow out again so I can start dancing again (in pow-wows) once I'm out of school. It's not that I need long hair to dance but I would like to have it - plus I miss it. My hair has been long most of my life and it's time for a change since I've worn it short for over 3 years now.
I'm not sure how much internet access I'll have but I imagine that I'll upload some random pictures to Facebook while I'm gone. So...check 'em out there. :)
Hope everyone has a great 4th of July if I don't blog again before then...
I honestly haven't been on much of a plan. I'm just eating when I'm hungry, keeping up on my water, working out again (jogging), and limiting my sweets.
I am a little nervous about my eating while I'm gone in South Dakota but I think I'll do okay. I doubt I'll lose any weight but I don't expect to gain a ton. I am definitely looking forward to Indian Tacos, Blanket Dogs (hot dogs wrapped up in Indian fry bread), and Buffalo Burgers. As we all know, I hate salads; well, at least the plain Jane ones (grilled chicken and lettuce) but if we eat out, I'll probably just get grilled chicken and veggies. Now that is a good meal right there!
I've got our hotels booked already since I know there's no way that I can drive all the way through since I'm driving by myself. We'll be staying in Rochester, Minnesota on July 1st and then near South Bend, Indiana on the way back.
Adrian is stoked. He cannot wait to leave so he meet our relatives and see where are ancestors came from. I feel bad because my Mom was talking to him about making his regalia and he really thought he was going to be dancing at the tribal pow-wow. Soon enough though...
I can't remember if I mentioned it, but along the dancing at pow-wows line, I have decided to let my hair grow out again so I can start dancing again (in pow-wows) once I'm out of school. It's not that I need long hair to dance but I would like to have it - plus I miss it. My hair has been long most of my life and it's time for a change since I've worn it short for over 3 years now.
I'm not sure how much internet access I'll have but I imagine that I'll upload some random pictures to Facebook while I'm gone. So...check 'em out there. :)
Hope everyone has a great 4th of July if I don't blog again before then...
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Blah
That's how I feel.
I am not doing very well at getting a decent amount of sleep right now. In fact, I didn't get "caught up" on my sleep this weekend since I had a ton of errands to do and I'm paying for it now...I feel physically ill. :( Bless Matt's heart...he let me crash on the couch for about 2 1/2 hours. I feel a little better but I'm still going to bed in a few minutes.
I don't think my medication is helping me right now either. My doctor switched my anti-depressant about two months ago and I started having some really not so fun side effects. It helped the depression but I noticed that if I accidentally missed a dose, I would get these overwhelming feelings of really dark depression...not very much fun. So...my doctor is putting me back on my old standby. The only thing that makes me nervous about that is my binge eating. The medication I was taking was helping with that. I'm not positive how much of that was the medication or how much of that was me just getting better at recognizing my triggers and having a little more self-restraint. Guess we'll see, huh?
I finally started working out again this week. I really want to re-start the shred soon but I'm taking baby steps and starting with jogging again. I can't tell you how depressed it made me that I wasn't able to keep up with shredding. That was just yet another time that I bit off more than I could chew. I may re-start it once I get back from South Dakota. I have got to tone up; especially in my arms, thighs, and stomach area.
I am not doing very well at getting a decent amount of sleep right now. In fact, I didn't get "caught up" on my sleep this weekend since I had a ton of errands to do and I'm paying for it now...I feel physically ill. :( Bless Matt's heart...he let me crash on the couch for about 2 1/2 hours. I feel a little better but I'm still going to bed in a few minutes.
I don't think my medication is helping me right now either. My doctor switched my anti-depressant about two months ago and I started having some really not so fun side effects. It helped the depression but I noticed that if I accidentally missed a dose, I would get these overwhelming feelings of really dark depression...not very much fun. So...my doctor is putting me back on my old standby. The only thing that makes me nervous about that is my binge eating. The medication I was taking was helping with that. I'm not positive how much of that was the medication or how much of that was me just getting better at recognizing my triggers and having a little more self-restraint. Guess we'll see, huh?
I finally started working out again this week. I really want to re-start the shred soon but I'm taking baby steps and starting with jogging again. I can't tell you how depressed it made me that I wasn't able to keep up with shredding. That was just yet another time that I bit off more than I could chew. I may re-start it once I get back from South Dakota. I have got to tone up; especially in my arms, thighs, and stomach area.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Down 4.2 lbs.
to 227. *Sigh* One of these days I'll figure out what the hell I'm doing so I can consistently lose weight and feel better.
My biggest flaw is a personal one. My husband will vouch for that. I tend to have these big dreams/aspirations about things (i.e. scrap booking, helping babysit for a close friend, starting a new workout program or "diet") and then when it's time to do it, I just don't...because I'm one of those people who bite off more than they can chew. I almost never tell anyone no and that my friends, makes me a good friend, but not so much a good mom or wife.
So to those of you that I've let down or hurt, I'm really, really sorry. My biggest obstacle with getting completely on track is my lifestyle. I am really busy, but I'm a huge time waster (Matt will vouch for that too). I get into these vicious cycles that I can't get out of. For instance, I mentioned that my schedule changed this week for work. Well...I have not been getting home until 6:30 p.m. and I leave at 6:30 a.m. (or so) for work - that's 12 hours per day that I'm gone for work 4 days per week. By the time I get home, I'm mentally and even physically drained from the long day and pretty much don't feel like doing anything other than mindless things (i.e. blogging or cruising my favorite internet sites). The mindless things keep me up until midnight, which leaves me tired as hell. I have got to break this cycle!!! I barely did any housework and I definitely was no mom of the week. I suck at balancing things; it's like I'm hardwired to only be able to handle a few things at a time before I just start ignoring things (my e-mail, my blog, my friends...sometimes). Sad.
I have been wanting to get healthy for a long time. I was actually going to put it off until I got out of school but I just got tired of how I felt and how I looked. So...I'm just going to keep plugging along and if I don't lose this weight for another 5 years (depressing!) then so be it. I'm going to start focusing on not binging anymore, making better food choices, and getting in physical activity when I can...which seems to only be during my lunch hour at work since I don't feel like working out by the time I get home and I am not an early riser. Plus, it seems that when I focus on getting my workouts in at night, my poor house just falls to the wayside...which goes back to the whole "I really suck at balancing things" deal.
I'm also sorry that I can be so damn wishy-washy. I wish I could just pick something and stick with it. For instance, I can tell you that I was honestly happier all last month when I was just eating reasonably healthy and not doing low-carb. I think the bigger reason why I'm back to doing it is because of our upcoming trip. I really, really want to be a little thinner than when I went 5 years ago. I just want to look/feel sexy in the pictures that I'm sure are going to be taken....know what I mean.
I imagine that once we get back from vacation that we may go on Weight Watchers. Matt only has about 20-25 more lbs. to lose until he gets to his goal weight and the closer he gets, the less Nazi-like he is about low-carbing. It seems like when I was on WW that I was consistently losing between 1-4 lbs. every week. There was a variety of food choices and I felt really good about myself when I was on their program.
Who knows though??? I'm sure I'll probably change my mind before then because that's just how I roll. :oP
My biggest flaw is a personal one. My husband will vouch for that. I tend to have these big dreams/aspirations about things (i.e. scrap booking, helping babysit for a close friend, starting a new workout program or "diet") and then when it's time to do it, I just don't...because I'm one of those people who bite off more than they can chew. I almost never tell anyone no and that my friends, makes me a good friend, but not so much a good mom or wife.
So to those of you that I've let down or hurt, I'm really, really sorry. My biggest obstacle with getting completely on track is my lifestyle. I am really busy, but I'm a huge time waster (Matt will vouch for that too). I get into these vicious cycles that I can't get out of. For instance, I mentioned that my schedule changed this week for work. Well...I have not been getting home until 6:30 p.m. and I leave at 6:30 a.m. (or so) for work - that's 12 hours per day that I'm gone for work 4 days per week. By the time I get home, I'm mentally and even physically drained from the long day and pretty much don't feel like doing anything other than mindless things (i.e. blogging or cruising my favorite internet sites). The mindless things keep me up until midnight, which leaves me tired as hell. I have got to break this cycle!!! I barely did any housework and I definitely was no mom of the week. I suck at balancing things; it's like I'm hardwired to only be able to handle a few things at a time before I just start ignoring things (my e-mail, my blog, my friends...sometimes). Sad.
I have been wanting to get healthy for a long time. I was actually going to put it off until I got out of school but I just got tired of how I felt and how I looked. So...I'm just going to keep plugging along and if I don't lose this weight for another 5 years (depressing!) then so be it. I'm going to start focusing on not binging anymore, making better food choices, and getting in physical activity when I can...which seems to only be during my lunch hour at work since I don't feel like working out by the time I get home and I am not an early riser. Plus, it seems that when I focus on getting my workouts in at night, my poor house just falls to the wayside...which goes back to the whole "I really suck at balancing things" deal.
I'm also sorry that I can be so damn wishy-washy. I wish I could just pick something and stick with it. For instance, I can tell you that I was honestly happier all last month when I was just eating reasonably healthy and not doing low-carb. I think the bigger reason why I'm back to doing it is because of our upcoming trip. I really, really want to be a little thinner than when I went 5 years ago. I just want to look/feel sexy in the pictures that I'm sure are going to be taken....know what I mean.
I imagine that once we get back from vacation that we may go on Weight Watchers. Matt only has about 20-25 more lbs. to lose until he gets to his goal weight and the closer he gets, the less Nazi-like he is about low-carbing. It seems like when I was on WW that I was consistently losing between 1-4 lbs. every week. There was a variety of food choices and I felt really good about myself when I was on their program.
Who knows though??? I'm sure I'll probably change my mind before then because that's just how I roll. :oP
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Bone Marrow Donation
You can join the registry for free if you sign up prior to June 22nd. I meant to post about this when it started and I got sidetracked (surprise, surprise!) but please check it out and sign up if you're able to and if you want to help save someone's life.
I'm super excited to get my kit so I can be typed (or whatever the heck it's called). I am bi-racial (Native American and Caucasian) at that so I really, really hope that I'm able to help someone. My husband probably won't be very happy but he'll get over it. :oP
Here is the website; I hope you'll consider donating: http://www.marrow.org/ Check out the FAQs because they have debunked so many myths; myths that deter people from donating. They explain the procedure in detail (if you're chosen to donate) as well as the recovery time for the donor afterwards.
I feel so warm and fuzzy inside right now. On that note, I'm off to bed. I've got a fun-filled day with my boys tomorrow. :)
I'm super excited to get my kit so I can be typed (or whatever the heck it's called). I am bi-racial (Native American and Caucasian) at that so I really, really hope that I'm able to help someone. My husband probably won't be very happy but he'll get over it. :oP
Here is the website; I hope you'll consider donating: http://www.marrow.org/ Check out the FAQs because they have debunked so many myths; myths that deter people from donating. They explain the procedure in detail (if you're chosen to donate) as well as the recovery time for the donor afterwards.
I feel so warm and fuzzy inside right now. On that note, I'm off to bed. I've got a fun-filled day with my boys tomorrow. :)
Nothing spells motivation like a...
B-I-K-I-N-II'm one of THOSE vacationers. You know...the fat ones who probably shouldn't be in bikinis but says to hell with it since they're on vacation in a foreign country where they'll never see anyone again. Yep...that's me. I just don't give a shiz. :oP (the bikini halter you see above is the actual bikini...the bottoms are boy shorts in the same pattern/colors).
Old Navy has their bathing suits on sale right now so I bought two bikinis for our anniversary trip. I tried them on today and had Matt take some pictures. Holy hell?! If that wasn't motivating enough, I don't know what is?!?!?! I may share them eventually...just not right now. I'll drop some more weight and then use them as progress pics.
Yeah...I definitely, definitely need to drop at least 15 lbs. before I leave.
I still have yet to work out this week. I am just flat worn out. Collin didn't sleep well at all on Monday and Tuesday and this new work schedule has me all screwed up. I'm not getting home until 6:30 and my motivation is seriously lacking this week because I'm just really burned out right now. The good news is that by working late, I'll be home by noon tomorrow! :D The boys and I are going to lunch and then swimming until Matt gets home. They are so excited and so am I...I rarely get quality time with them so this will be a welcome change.
On a happy note, I leave in less than two weeks for South Dakota and our friends from Ireland will be here to visit next week. :) They'll be here (in the states...not with us) for almost 3 weeks so we'll probably see them a couple of times. I can't wait!!!
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Kashi Go Lean Crunch
Is the bomb! I just bought it at the store the other night for the first time as a back-up snack. I was still hungry after dinner last night and so I had myself a bowl. I think it might be my new favorite cereal. :)
I am doing well in the eating department this week. I'm not eating as low-carb as I had wanted to; I wanted to do Induction through Atkins' plan but I'm still keeping my carbs at 30-50 per day, so that's not bad. I still haven't gotten a chance to work out but I've been busy doing stuff around the house since I'm on break from school this week. I'm shooting to work out at lunch or at home tonight...
I am doing well in the eating department this week. I'm not eating as low-carb as I had wanted to; I wanted to do Induction through Atkins' plan but I'm still keeping my carbs at 30-50 per day, so that's not bad. I still haven't gotten a chance to work out but I've been busy doing stuff around the house since I'm on break from school this week. I'm shooting to work out at lunch or at home tonight...
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Best invention ever!
The Rival Sno Cone maker. I have a feeling that sno cones are going to be my new favorite treat. The good news is that they make sugar-free sno cone syrup (thanks, Becky!) that is only 5 calories and 0 carbs per 2 oz. serving. Yummy!
On a food related note, I did good today. Actually, a little too good. I was busy doing projects around the house and skipped lunch altogether. I made it (egg salad) but I didn't get a chance to eat it before dinner. My calories are way too low right now (under 1000) and so I'm going to go eat something else...I just have to figure out what now??? Maybe that egg salad pita...
ETA: I did end up having the egg salad pita with some swiss cheese. My calories are now less than 1700 and my carbs less than 50. I had wanted to be closer to 30 carbs but 50 isn't bad...I also got in my water for the day (120 oz.)...yay! :)
On a food related note, I did good today. Actually, a little too good. I was busy doing projects around the house and skipped lunch altogether. I made it (egg salad) but I didn't get a chance to eat it before dinner. My calories are way too low right now (under 1000) and so I'm going to go eat something else...I just have to figure out what now??? Maybe that egg salad pita...
ETA: I did end up having the egg salad pita with some swiss cheese. My calories are now less than 1700 and my carbs less than 50. I had wanted to be closer to 30 carbs but 50 isn't bad...I also got in my water for the day (120 oz.)...yay! :)
231.2
That's what I weighed in at this morning. I've been avoiding the scale because I've been on yet another "break". That's about a 5 lb. gain in a couple of weeks. Less than I thought it would be but I'm still completely frustrated that I'm back over 230 lbs. yet again!
I'm on a mission now though. I'm fed up and tired of being fat. Part of it's vanity but part of it's just wanting to be healthy too. I noticed weird things this time with the little weight gain. My skin around my stomach started feeling tight. I felt a little winded going up the stairs this week. I just feel like crap period, when I'm eating junk and not working out.
So...here are some things I'm going to do to help me achieve my weight loss goal:
1) Eat low-carb. This time around I'm going to try to eat some leaner protein, cut out unnecessary "sweets" (i.e. sugar-free chocolates), and limit tasty adult beverages. I finally found some Baja Bob's mixers locally (Meijer's)that I'm excited to try when the notion hits me.
2) Exercise 3-4 times per week. This actually isn't too hard for me since I can work out on my lunch hour. I do want to get back into strength training though since I know that burns more fat than aerobic exercise.
3) Water, water, water. 120 oz. per day is my goal.
4) Weight loss goal pictures everywhere! I finally made copies of my weight loss goal picture yesterday and I'm putting one up by the fridge/cupboard, in my car, at work, and in my purse. These are all of the places that can trigger me to eat badly (well, not my purse but I can take it out and look at it when I'm not in any of those places).
5) Replace bad habits with good ones. This might be hard for me. Mindless eating is what gets me in trouble. I have really been wanting to read a good book (Twilight!) and since all of my Internet sites are slow right now so I might try to do that or better yet, I will play with my kids. My quality time with them is lacking and so that will be another goal of mine. Adrian, Collin, & I played in the back yard on Friday and I forget how much fun it is to just let go and act/play like a kid again.
6) 8 hours of sleep. This will be a tough one. Neither of the kids go to bed until after 10:00 and so by the time we get them to bed, I just want some down time which leads me to stay up until 11:00 p.m. or later. That's not good when I should be up by 6:00 the following morning for work.
If I do 4 of the 6 things over the next week, I'll be happy.
I finally booked our trip to the Dominican Republic (Punta Cana) this week. I found some great pictures of our hotel and I am STOKED! We are going for 6 days / 5 nights, it's all inclusive (that's all the food, alcohol, and tips included), and we don't even have to leave the resort if we don't want to since they've got snorkeling, windsurfing, and all that good stuff available on the resort.
And finally...for your viewing pleasure, my weight loss goal picture and my current picture:
Current (6-7-09)
Goal - Taken in 1999 - I weighed probably 165 lbs. here. I still have this skirt and I would LOVE to fit back into it. My ultimate goal is 150 lbs. but I'd take 165. :)
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Half-way there!
As of today, I'm officially half-way through my degree. Woot, woot! I passed my math final too. Double woot, woot! So...I'm officially on break for the next week and a half. I can't wait to just hang out and spend time with the family.
I have so much stuff coming up! Summer quarter starts June 22nd, which is the same time that our friends Leah & Trevor will be flying in to visit from Ireland. Yay! Adrian & I will leave for South Dakota on July 1st and then Matt and I are headed to the Dominican Republic on September 5th. I am booking the trip this week; I just have to meet with a travel agent to get a couple of questions answered. I cannot wait!!!
Eating has been pretty terrible and I haven't worked out in a week. I've been stressed out with work and school but I'm looking to get back on track this week. As much as I hate to admit this, I think I'm going to go back on low-carb for awhile. I have came to the conclusion that I am going to be somewhat miserable either way I try to lose weight. If I do a low-fat/low-calorie diet and splurge every now and then, I will lose weight the "healthy way" but very slowly, which depresses me. If I do low-carb, I'll lose weight quickly but be depressed because of the lack of food choices. I'm just to the point now where despite my triumphs, I still feel like a fat cow. My goal was to be at or below 200 lbs. by our trip and I don't think that's going to happen. It still might happen by the end of the year though. I'm just sick and tired of being a lard ass!
I think that gets you caught up for now. Hopefully things will slow down since I'm only taking two 2-credit classes this summer but no promises...ahh!
I have so much stuff coming up! Summer quarter starts June 22nd, which is the same time that our friends Leah & Trevor will be flying in to visit from Ireland. Yay! Adrian & I will leave for South Dakota on July 1st and then Matt and I are headed to the Dominican Republic on September 5th. I am booking the trip this week; I just have to meet with a travel agent to get a couple of questions answered. I cannot wait!!!
Eating has been pretty terrible and I haven't worked out in a week. I've been stressed out with work and school but I'm looking to get back on track this week. As much as I hate to admit this, I think I'm going to go back on low-carb for awhile. I have came to the conclusion that I am going to be somewhat miserable either way I try to lose weight. If I do a low-fat/low-calorie diet and splurge every now and then, I will lose weight the "healthy way" but very slowly, which depresses me. If I do low-carb, I'll lose weight quickly but be depressed because of the lack of food choices. I'm just to the point now where despite my triumphs, I still feel like a fat cow. My goal was to be at or below 200 lbs. by our trip and I don't think that's going to happen. It still might happen by the end of the year though. I'm just sick and tired of being a lard ass!
I think that gets you caught up for now. Hopefully things will slow down since I'm only taking two 2-credit classes this summer but no promises...ahh!
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Added my food tracker...finally!
To the upper left hand corner. Now you can spy on what I eat, heh, heh, heh!
On a very positive note, I wanted to report that I only ate two of Collin's cupcakes (one on his b-day and one on Sunday)! The last time I made cupcakes, I'll bet I ate 10-12 over a long weekend. I am so proud of myself! I really wanted an extra one on Sunday night before I went to bed but I refrained. More or less because I'm tired of bingeing on food like that and then having to either lie about what happened to it or avoid the question altogether.
We also have a big bag of M & Ms in the house. It has been here since Friday night and I haven't ate a single M & M!
I did, however, buy an economy size bag of smarties today. I feel so liberated now that I'm not eating low-carb. I'm (fortunately) not a huge chocolate fan and now that I'm trying to focus on eating well-balanced, quality meals/snacks I tend to stay away from high calorie / high fat snacks like chocolate. Instead...I eat 1-4 packs of smarties. Sure they're empty calories but at 25 calories per roll, they satisfy my sweet tooth when I get one. I <3 them!
Don't get me wrong...I have had a couple of ice creams (think flurries) and some other "bad" snacks / meals over the past month but I am getting to the point where if I have a high calorie day, I don't sweat it and I just work harder and eat better the following day. For example, I am planning on eating a Der Dutchman Long John donut (DELICIOUS! best donuts ever!) on Thursday since we're celebrating a birthday at work. That will be the only "bad" thing I eat that day and I'll be working my ass off the next day or two to work it off. It will be soooo worth it though. :)
I have set a goal to get to 220 lbs. or below by the end of this month. That's between 6-7 lbs. that I need to lose. I think it is more than do-able if I buckle down. As long as I lose a pound a week, I'll be happy but to see 220 on the scale, would be icing on the cake...
Wish me luck.
On a very positive note, I wanted to report that I only ate two of Collin's cupcakes (one on his b-day and one on Sunday)! The last time I made cupcakes, I'll bet I ate 10-12 over a long weekend. I am so proud of myself! I really wanted an extra one on Sunday night before I went to bed but I refrained. More or less because I'm tired of bingeing on food like that and then having to either lie about what happened to it or avoid the question altogether.
We also have a big bag of M & Ms in the house. It has been here since Friday night and I haven't ate a single M & M!
I did, however, buy an economy size bag of smarties today. I feel so liberated now that I'm not eating low-carb. I'm (fortunately) not a huge chocolate fan and now that I'm trying to focus on eating well-balanced, quality meals/snacks I tend to stay away from high calorie / high fat snacks like chocolate. Instead...I eat 1-4 packs of smarties. Sure they're empty calories but at 25 calories per roll, they satisfy my sweet tooth when I get one. I <3 them!
Don't get me wrong...I have had a couple of ice creams (think flurries) and some other "bad" snacks / meals over the past month but I am getting to the point where if I have a high calorie day, I don't sweat it and I just work harder and eat better the following day. For example, I am planning on eating a Der Dutchman Long John donut (DELICIOUS! best donuts ever!) on Thursday since we're celebrating a birthday at work. That will be the only "bad" thing I eat that day and I'll be working my ass off the next day or two to work it off. It will be soooo worth it though. :)
I have set a goal to get to 220 lbs. or below by the end of this month. That's between 6-7 lbs. that I need to lose. I think it is more than do-able if I buckle down. As long as I lose a pound a week, I'll be happy but to see 220 on the scale, would be icing on the cake...
Wish me luck.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Finally getting around to blogging!
I have not been in a very chatty mood lately...sorry! Let's see...what have I been up to over the past week and a half?
Well, Memorial Day weekend was kind of nice. I say kind of because it was nice to be off of work but we worked on a ton of projects around the house and outside (yet when we were "done" it didn't look much different). We took Collin to ride a train for one of his birthday presents. He had a blast! We actually had a good time too...well...almost all of us. Adrian had a near breakdown towards the end of the ride because he was on sensory overload. I forget sometimes that he will always have Sensory Integration Dysfunction and just because he has outgrown a lot of his issues doesn't mean that he won't always struggle with some. I felt so bad for him! :(
I did my second/last public speaking engagement on Thursday (the 28th). I did SO much better than I did the first time. I had zero negative comments this time on the feedback forms and actually had a handful of clients say that they liked my segment the best. :) I would definitely speak again next year...I have a feeling that I might be asked again since not many people enjoy public speaking. It's a huge rush and once you find your niche, it's fine.
We had the boys' birthday party this weekend. It was nice because it was just close family. We got to spend adequate time with everyone and the boys didn't get too much stuff. Adrian's big gift was a Nintendo DS Lite and Collin got a bunch of Thomas the Train toys among other things. Adrian has close to $250 saved now so he's SO close to getting his PlayStation 3! I'm so proud of him for saving for it since January. :) He actually made the Merit roll this year too so we'll be giving him some more money for that and so I have a feeling that he'll have it by the end of the month...Oh, I made Collin's cake too. I'll post pics down below. I'm so proud of myself, although Matt and my sister Kelli did help with the "cars" since I was running really behind and didn't have time to make them myself.
Other than that, just trying to figure out where we're going for summer vacation. Originally, we were going to go to South Dakota for my mom's family's reunion and our tribal pow-wow. Mom then changed her mind because she wasn't going to have the money so we had decided that we weren't going to go since she wasn't going and we then planned a "staycation". Well, my great Auntie Clara isn't doing so well (my maternal grandmother's sister) and since she's the closest thing I have left to my Grandma Amos (she died before I was born), I would really like to go and meet her and get to know a bit more about that side of the family; especially since our culture is dying and there aren't many elders left. I think it would be a great experience for the boys to experience that side of their culture as well as for all of us to get to know mom's side of the family a little better. Matt isn't too crazy about going (understandable...it's a 16-hour car drive with no stops! plus he doesn't have much vacation time for the year) so I don't know what we'll do. We have to decide soon though because if we go, I have to cancel the staycation (set for the week of June 15th) and then I'll have to start planning for the week over the 4th of July. Ahh...decisions, decisions!
As far as the eating/exercising goes, it's not been terrible but it's not been great...kind of in between. I did get down to my lowest weight in 2 years last week...226.6 lbs. I have decided that I'll still kind of loosely have an official weigh-in day but I'm just going to record my lowest weigh-in for the week in my actual tracker since I'm all over the board anymore.
And here are a few pictures of what we've been up to...
Collin enjoying his first s'more of the season
The boys before the train ride
Me & Collin on the train ride
Daddy and the boys on the train ride
Collin's 3rd birthday cake - idea stolen from BabyCenter (as much as I'd like to take the credit for it, I can't)
Collin with his b-day cake
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Doing much better!
I had a crappy high calorie day today but did not binge I am happy to report. It was tough because I was gone all day and woke up late so I ate out twice. Breakfast was a Sausage McMuffin and a McCafe mocha. Lunch was a KFC Snacker meal with potato wedges but I only ate one of the sandwiches. Dinner was a Healthy Choice meal. My snacks are actually what got me today. I had a chocolate with white chocolate chunk cookie and a small brownie at my work seminar. I didn't really want to eat them; I honestly only got them because I was falling asleep and needed some sugar/caffeine and because my co-workers got some and I didn't want to be the odd man out. I was under on my water too so I'm sure my official weigh-in isn't going to be good tomorrow, but you never know!
I'm doing much better as far as the depression goes. I don't know what the hell was wrong with me?! I think it was just a combination of skipping my meds, starting my period, and stress from work/school/home coming down on me. I cried every night for like 3 nights straight. Today I'm just feeling really run down. I'm definitely looking forward to the 3-day weekend.
I'm trying to convince Matt to have a date night with me this weekend. We really need one plus we have to go birthday shopping for the boys' party next weekend. Wish me luck on that...he didn't sound too interested since he's so busy with projects around here...
I'm doing much better as far as the depression goes. I don't know what the hell was wrong with me?! I think it was just a combination of skipping my meds, starting my period, and stress from work/school/home coming down on me. I cried every night for like 3 nights straight. Today I'm just feeling really run down. I'm definitely looking forward to the 3-day weekend.
I'm trying to convince Matt to have a date night with me this weekend. We really need one plus we have to go birthday shopping for the boys' party next weekend. Wish me luck on that...he didn't sound too interested since he's so busy with projects around here...
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
I think I know what my problem is
I have stopped turning to food for comfort.
I had a light bulb moment as I was crying myself to sleep last night. I know the skipping my medication has something to do with it as well but it's more so to do with not turning to food to numb my pain or make me forget about my stresses anymore.
Now I just have to figure out something else to de-stress with.
I have never felt so alone in my life when I know that I'm not. WTH is wrong with me? I just wish I could snap out of this. Maybe it's my hormones too? I started on Monday so I'm sure that isn't helping things.
Hopefully things will be back to normal soon...
I had a light bulb moment as I was crying myself to sleep last night. I know the skipping my medication has something to do with it as well but it's more so to do with not turning to food to numb my pain or make me forget about my stresses anymore.
Now I just have to figure out something else to de-stress with.
I have never felt so alone in my life when I know that I'm not. WTH is wrong with me? I just wish I could snap out of this. Maybe it's my hormones too? I started on Monday so I'm sure that isn't helping things.
Hopefully things will be back to normal soon...
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Depressed
Now I'm not just stressed...I'm depressed. Guess that's what I get for skipping two days of my medication on top of all the other stress I've got going on. I just feel like I want to cry but I don't have the energy.
I've got so much shit running through my head right now. I really just need to stop and take some time to de-stress by myself...no kids, no husband, no internet, and no homework.
I seriously felt like I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown yesterday evening. What I have known for awhile (but I try not to think about) is that I am NOT a good multitasker. Lately, I've been focusing on getting healthy, working out, etc. and then I let my housework fall behind and my family time fall to the wayside. When I focus on keeping the house in order, I drive myself crazy because it will never be perfect with all boys in the house and then I feel like a failure.
I just can't do it all. I'm not supermom, superwife, superfriend, superemployee, or superstudent. I know that and I hate it. I try to be a strong person and not think about things that will upset me. I try not to worry about things I have no control over. I'm just at a loss because I feel like I'm being pulled in so many directions and have so many priorities that I don't know where I should start first. So...I just avoid certain things.
I've been trying to avoid doing this for a long, long time but I think I have no other choice. I'm going to have to stop being selfish and doing things that make me happy (i.e. internet time, T.V watching, etc.) because by everything not being done and tended to like it should be, it's hurting and negatively affecting my family.
Gah. This sucks. One thing that I learned early on when I was a single mom was to stop and take time out for myself to keep my sanity. Unfortunately, I just don't have that luxury anymore. I made that choice a long time ago when I decided to go back to school. I just can't believe it's taken me this long to finally get my shit together and realize that.
To top things off, my sexual abuse issues are surfacing with the weight loss. It's hitting me the hardest when I come in close contact with men while I'm jogging. I take my cell phone with me just "in case" anything might happen. I feel violated all over again when a stranger looks at me. I should probably get back to working on my abuse workbook. I got so wrapped up in this quest to get healthy that I put that on the back burner and now it's cropped back up since I'm getting thinner and feeling prettier.
I have been getting numerous compliments at work about my weight loss and toning. It's great on one hand but then on the other hand it drudges up all the past stuff when people tell me how good I'm looking.
God. I just want to be normal. Just once.
I've got so much shit running through my head right now. I really just need to stop and take some time to de-stress by myself...no kids, no husband, no internet, and no homework.
I seriously felt like I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown yesterday evening. What I have known for awhile (but I try not to think about) is that I am NOT a good multitasker. Lately, I've been focusing on getting healthy, working out, etc. and then I let my housework fall behind and my family time fall to the wayside. When I focus on keeping the house in order, I drive myself crazy because it will never be perfect with all boys in the house and then I feel like a failure.
I just can't do it all. I'm not supermom, superwife, superfriend, superemployee, or superstudent. I know that and I hate it. I try to be a strong person and not think about things that will upset me. I try not to worry about things I have no control over. I'm just at a loss because I feel like I'm being pulled in so many directions and have so many priorities that I don't know where I should start first. So...I just avoid certain things.
I've been trying to avoid doing this for a long, long time but I think I have no other choice. I'm going to have to stop being selfish and doing things that make me happy (i.e. internet time, T.V watching, etc.) because by everything not being done and tended to like it should be, it's hurting and negatively affecting my family.
Gah. This sucks. One thing that I learned early on when I was a single mom was to stop and take time out for myself to keep my sanity. Unfortunately, I just don't have that luxury anymore. I made that choice a long time ago when I decided to go back to school. I just can't believe it's taken me this long to finally get my shit together and realize that.
To top things off, my sexual abuse issues are surfacing with the weight loss. It's hitting me the hardest when I come in close contact with men while I'm jogging. I take my cell phone with me just "in case" anything might happen. I feel violated all over again when a stranger looks at me. I should probably get back to working on my abuse workbook. I got so wrapped up in this quest to get healthy that I put that on the back burner and now it's cropped back up since I'm getting thinner and feeling prettier.
I have been getting numerous compliments at work about my weight loss and toning. It's great on one hand but then on the other hand it drudges up all the past stuff when people tell me how good I'm looking.
God. I just want to be normal. Just once.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Stressed!
I just tracked my food; got in about 1400 calories. I didn't do any snacking today at all...I was either too busy or my nerves were too shot to think about eating.
I had my first public speaking engagement as I mentioned before. I actually did better than I thought I would. There is still definitely room for improvement but I was pleased with how everything went overall, as were my peers and the people who count. I got some good constructive criticism and I am going to attend an extra client seminar (on Thursday) to get to see one of our supervisors in action doing our piece of the seminar. She is going over the same material as I am so I'm curious to see the spin she puts on things. I definitely think I could learn a couple things from her. :) I'm not done with public speaking just yet...I have my next/last seminar for the year on Thursday next week...
I really like the food journaling but my life is crazy busy right now so I apologize ahead of time if I don't keep up with it. I am tracking my food in SparkPeople and so that's all that really matters to me right now. I will put a link to my SP food log when I get a free minute.
I am also going to start limiting my internet time for awhile. Matt has been shouldering much the burden of the household stuff for awhile and so I need to focus on helping him get stuff back on track. I fully intend on keeping up with my blog, as well as SP, and popping in on BabyCenter every now and then but I'm going to have to cut way back on BabyCenter personals since I just don't have the time to keep up with everyone right now. This sucks but I have to be more productive...even if it means sacrificing my own sanity for awhile...yeah...sad, I know. The mindless internet surfing keeps me sane...
I had my first public speaking engagement as I mentioned before. I actually did better than I thought I would. There is still definitely room for improvement but I was pleased with how everything went overall, as were my peers and the people who count. I got some good constructive criticism and I am going to attend an extra client seminar (on Thursday) to get to see one of our supervisors in action doing our piece of the seminar. She is going over the same material as I am so I'm curious to see the spin she puts on things. I definitely think I could learn a couple things from her. :) I'm not done with public speaking just yet...I have my next/last seminar for the year on Thursday next week...
I really like the food journaling but my life is crazy busy right now so I apologize ahead of time if I don't keep up with it. I am tracking my food in SparkPeople and so that's all that really matters to me right now. I will put a link to my SP food log when I get a free minute.
I am also going to start limiting my internet time for awhile. Matt has been shouldering much the burden of the household stuff for awhile and so I need to focus on helping him get stuff back on track. I fully intend on keeping up with my blog, as well as SP, and popping in on BabyCenter every now and then but I'm going to have to cut way back on BabyCenter personals since I just don't have the time to keep up with everyone right now. This sucks but I have to be more productive...even if it means sacrificing my own sanity for awhile...yeah...sad, I know. The mindless internet surfing keeps me sane...
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Eek!
Sorry for not journaling the past couple of days. If you hadn't noticed by now weekends are the hardest for me. I probably won't journal today either...I'm going to be crazy busy today. I will say that Friday I was over a couple hundred calories but yesterday wasn't bad at all, although I did have a couple of Mike's Hard Punches. Today I plan on behaving. Tomorrow I am getting back on track and Shredding again.
Right now, I am shitting bricks thinking about my first public speaking engagement tomorrow. I have not practiced AT ALL (although I do know the material well) and so I'm going to do that later on, once I have my homework and a little more housework done.
Please, please, please keep your fingers crossed for me tomorrow. This could make or break me for future promotions...
Right now, I am shitting bricks thinking about my first public speaking engagement tomorrow. I have not practiced AT ALL (although I do know the material well) and so I'm going to do that later on, once I have my homework and a little more housework done.
Please, please, please keep your fingers crossed for me tomorrow. This could make or break me for future promotions...
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Food journal - day #15
Today was a good day. :)
Breakfast - 8:45 - Cinnamon crunch bagel from Panera. I felt a little guilty eating this because of yesterday but it was for our monthly departmental birthday celebration so I went ahead and ate it. It was pretty tasty and filling (for about an hour!).
Lunch - 12:00 - Margherita pizza x4 slices. I agonized over this before I left for this business lunch. I hate salads plus I'm always afraid that I'm going to have stomach issues at inopportune times, if you know what I mean. Unfortunately, Buca Di Beppo doesn't have nutritional information and so I googled the pizza and got a rough estimate of the calories and whatnot - only 325 calories per service (2 slices). I was hungry and so I ate 4 pieces. I felt a little guilty but not too much since the pieces were very thin and only had sauce, cheese, and basil on it.
Dinner - 5:30 - Healthy Choice Salisbury steak meal with mixed veggies, red-skinned potatoes, and apples w/cinnamon. I wanted to eat more but I had to run for school.
Snack - 9:30 - Turkey, light string cheese, carrots, and cantaloupe. I knew that I had to eat this since I was almost 700 calories under for the day...plus I was still hungry from not getting full from dinner.
Snack - 10:30 - SF chocolate pudding & choc chip granola bar. I was still under my calories and my calcium & fiber intake for the day (those are a couple other things I'm tracking) so I ate this for that reason, plus I was still a little hungry. I am full, but not stuffed. Good snack! (can you tell I'm PMSing here?) :oP
Water - 120 oz.
Exercise - None :( I could not drag my butt out of bed this morning. I'm still not getting to bed on time and I'm sleeping a little too good. I am going to walk/jog at lunch tomorrow and either shred when I get home or go on a bike ride to make up for my lack of exercise over the past couple of days. I feel like a slug and I actually miss working out. I never thought I'd say that but I really, really do miss it! :)
I am also happy to report that I finally made an appointment with my family doctor to get my thyroid checked in light of my mom's recent hypothyroidism diagnosis. She also informed me that I have a couple more relatives on her side of the family with thyroid problems. Plus, my paternal grandma has had a goiter removed twice now. I guess it just makes sense. I'm also going to have him do a general health workup...do some blood work, check my blood pressure, and all that other good stuff. It would be so nice to get an explanation for all of my symptoms that I've had for probably 15 years now - chronic fatigue, hair loss, extreme weight gain (80 lbs. in 5 years!), and some other things. I've had it checked a few times before but not for probably 5+ years and so I'm interested to see if anything has changed...
Keep your fingers crossed for my weigh-in tomorrow. I hope that I'm still down at least 3.3 lbs. but I won't be surprised if I'm not since I was a little down on my water yesterday and I still haven't started my period. I'm sure that I'm retaining water for that reason. We shall see. :)
Oh, and I was 200 calories under for the day. Yay!
Breakfast - 8:45 - Cinnamon crunch bagel from Panera. I felt a little guilty eating this because of yesterday but it was for our monthly departmental birthday celebration so I went ahead and ate it. It was pretty tasty and filling (for about an hour!).
Lunch - 12:00 - Margherita pizza x4 slices. I agonized over this before I left for this business lunch. I hate salads plus I'm always afraid that I'm going to have stomach issues at inopportune times, if you know what I mean. Unfortunately, Buca Di Beppo doesn't have nutritional information and so I googled the pizza and got a rough estimate of the calories and whatnot - only 325 calories per service (2 slices). I was hungry and so I ate 4 pieces. I felt a little guilty but not too much since the pieces were very thin and only had sauce, cheese, and basil on it.
Dinner - 5:30 - Healthy Choice Salisbury steak meal with mixed veggies, red-skinned potatoes, and apples w/cinnamon. I wanted to eat more but I had to run for school.
Snack - 9:30 - Turkey, light string cheese, carrots, and cantaloupe. I knew that I had to eat this since I was almost 700 calories under for the day...plus I was still hungry from not getting full from dinner.
Snack - 10:30 - SF chocolate pudding & choc chip granola bar. I was still under my calories and my calcium & fiber intake for the day (those are a couple other things I'm tracking) so I ate this for that reason, plus I was still a little hungry. I am full, but not stuffed. Good snack! (can you tell I'm PMSing here?) :oP
Water - 120 oz.
Exercise - None :( I could not drag my butt out of bed this morning. I'm still not getting to bed on time and I'm sleeping a little too good. I am going to walk/jog at lunch tomorrow and either shred when I get home or go on a bike ride to make up for my lack of exercise over the past couple of days. I feel like a slug and I actually miss working out. I never thought I'd say that but I really, really do miss it! :)
I am also happy to report that I finally made an appointment with my family doctor to get my thyroid checked in light of my mom's recent hypothyroidism diagnosis. She also informed me that I have a couple more relatives on her side of the family with thyroid problems. Plus, my paternal grandma has had a goiter removed twice now. I guess it just makes sense. I'm also going to have him do a general health workup...do some blood work, check my blood pressure, and all that other good stuff. It would be so nice to get an explanation for all of my symptoms that I've had for probably 15 years now - chronic fatigue, hair loss, extreme weight gain (80 lbs. in 5 years!), and some other things. I've had it checked a few times before but not for probably 5+ years and so I'm interested to see if anything has changed...
Keep your fingers crossed for my weigh-in tomorrow. I hope that I'm still down at least 3.3 lbs. but I won't be surprised if I'm not since I was a little down on my water yesterday and I still haven't started my period. I'm sure that I'm retaining water for that reason. We shall see. :)
Oh, and I was 200 calories under for the day. Yay!
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Food journal - day #14
Today was a zinger! I had a client meeting and was out of the office the whole day. I hate getting out of my routine...it totally messes up my mojo.
Breakfast - 9:00 - Jimmy Dean D-Light Canadian bacon w/egg white and cheese on whole grain English muffin, FF yogurt, SF applesauce, coffee w/regular creamer.
Lunch - 12:00 - Grilled chicken breast w/mixed fruit (cantaloupe, honeydew, & pineapple). And then...I had a piece of peanut butter pie for dessert. I think I've talked about my love of PB pie on here before. We were in Amish country and ate at an Amish restaurant and I always get a piece o' PB pie when I'm at that type of restaurant. *blushes*
Snack - 2:00 - Bumpy nerd jelly beans. To be honest, I know I didn't need more sugar after the pie but I was dragging ass and was trying to wake myself up because I was all of the sudden exhausted. It didn't help.
Dinner - 8:00 - low-carb pizza. Yummy, yummy, yummy!
Water - 80 oz. I have GOT to get this up tomorrow since weigh-in is on Friday!
Exercise - not a darn thing. :(
I ended up getting home a little before 5:00 and I was just wiped out! I ended up laying down around 5:30 for a nap and didn't wake up until Matt woke me up for dinner at 8:00. I felt a little guilty but I honestly RARELY ever take a nap and so I didn't stress over it too much. By the time I finished eating dinner, did a load of laundry, cleaned our family room, and bathed Collin, it was 10:00 and way too late to try to work out. I'm going to go to bed shortly and *TRY* to get up at 5:00 tomorrow to work out since I really need to get another Shred session in. Anyone who knows me knows that probably won't happen but one can dream big right? :oP
BTW, prior to today's bad eating day (I was over by about 200 calories), I did a mid-week weigh-in and was down 3.3 lbs. as of this morning. Please, please, please keep your fingers crossed for me for the official weigh-in! :)
Breakfast - 9:00 - Jimmy Dean D-Light Canadian bacon w/egg white and cheese on whole grain English muffin, FF yogurt, SF applesauce, coffee w/regular creamer.
Lunch - 12:00 - Grilled chicken breast w/mixed fruit (cantaloupe, honeydew, & pineapple). And then...I had a piece of peanut butter pie for dessert. I think I've talked about my love of PB pie on here before. We were in Amish country and ate at an Amish restaurant and I always get a piece o' PB pie when I'm at that type of restaurant. *blushes*
Snack - 2:00 - Bumpy nerd jelly beans. To be honest, I know I didn't need more sugar after the pie but I was dragging ass and was trying to wake myself up because I was all of the sudden exhausted. It didn't help.
Dinner - 8:00 - low-carb pizza. Yummy, yummy, yummy!
Water - 80 oz. I have GOT to get this up tomorrow since weigh-in is on Friday!
Exercise - not a darn thing. :(
I ended up getting home a little before 5:00 and I was just wiped out! I ended up laying down around 5:30 for a nap and didn't wake up until Matt woke me up for dinner at 8:00. I felt a little guilty but I honestly RARELY ever take a nap and so I didn't stress over it too much. By the time I finished eating dinner, did a load of laundry, cleaned our family room, and bathed Collin, it was 10:00 and way too late to try to work out. I'm going to go to bed shortly and *TRY* to get up at 5:00 tomorrow to work out since I really need to get another Shred session in. Anyone who knows me knows that probably won't happen but one can dream big right? :oP
BTW, prior to today's bad eating day (I was over by about 200 calories), I did a mid-week weigh-in and was down 3.3 lbs. as of this morning. Please, please, please keep your fingers crossed for me for the official weigh-in! :)
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Food journal - day #13
I was an exercising fool today. I feel GREAT!
Breakfast: 9:30 - Jimmy Dean D-Light sausage w/egg white and cheese on whole grain English muffin, FF yogurt, SF applesauce, regular coffee w/SF vanilla creamer.
Lunch: 1:00 - Turkey sandwich on pita bread, baby carrots, and light string cheese. I didn't get a chance to eat my apple because I was absolutely swamped at work today!
Dinner #1: 5:15 - Healthy Choice Sweet & Sour Chicken with broccoli and peach cobbler. Yummy!
I was supposed to go to school tonight but I skipped it and worked over since I am behind on some stuff that is due soon. When I went grocery shopping this week, I decided to pick up a few HC meals for dinner instead of fast food so I wouldn't be tempted to get something I shouldn't have like a milkshake or sundae. I am trying to cut down on my processed foods intake but I felt like this was the lesser of two evils...
Dinner #2: 7:00 - Grilled lean ham, broccoli & cauliflower, and an apple.
Snack - 9:45 - Grilled lean ham, Rold Gold honey wheat pretzels, and SF chocolate pudding.
Water: 120 oz.
Exercise: 3 miles of walking/jogging (half of which I probably jogged!) and 5.5 miles of cycling tonight with the family. Collin loves his new seat! We had SO much fun! What a great way to get healthy and bond with your family?! :) Also, according to SP, I burned over 700 calories. Woo-hoo!
Even with all this food, I am about under my calories by about 300 according to SP. I haven't ate the 9:45 snack yet but I'll wait a few minutes and if I'm still hungry, I'll eat something else. Just not sure what yet...nothing bad though. :) I've done too well today to ruin it!
Breakfast: 9:30 - Jimmy Dean D-Light sausage w/egg white and cheese on whole grain English muffin, FF yogurt, SF applesauce, regular coffee w/SF vanilla creamer.
Lunch: 1:00 - Turkey sandwich on pita bread, baby carrots, and light string cheese. I didn't get a chance to eat my apple because I was absolutely swamped at work today!
Dinner #1: 5:15 - Healthy Choice Sweet & Sour Chicken with broccoli and peach cobbler. Yummy!
I was supposed to go to school tonight but I skipped it and worked over since I am behind on some stuff that is due soon. When I went grocery shopping this week, I decided to pick up a few HC meals for dinner instead of fast food so I wouldn't be tempted to get something I shouldn't have like a milkshake or sundae. I am trying to cut down on my processed foods intake but I felt like this was the lesser of two evils...
Dinner #2: 7:00 - Grilled lean ham, broccoli & cauliflower, and an apple.
Snack - 9:45 - Grilled lean ham, Rold Gold honey wheat pretzels, and SF chocolate pudding.
Water: 120 oz.
Exercise: 3 miles of walking/jogging (half of which I probably jogged!) and 5.5 miles of cycling tonight with the family. Collin loves his new seat! We had SO much fun! What a great way to get healthy and bond with your family?! :) Also, according to SP, I burned over 700 calories. Woo-hoo!
Even with all this food, I am about under my calories by about 300 according to SP. I haven't ate the 9:45 snack yet but I'll wait a few minutes and if I'm still hungry, I'll eat something else. Just not sure what yet...nothing bad though. :) I've done too well today to ruin it!
Monday, May 11, 2009
Food journal - day #12
Back on track. Yeah!
Breakfast: 9:15 - Jimmy Dean D-Light sausage w/egg white and cheese on whole grain English muffin, FF yogurt, SF applesauce, regular coffee w/SF vanilla creamer.
Lunch: 12:30 - Turkey sandwich on pita bread, baby carrots, apple, and light string cheese. I was completely stuffed after this meal and wasn't sure I was going to be able to get in my afternoon snack.
Snack: 2:30 - Baby carrots, peaches in lite syrup (made w/Splenda), and FF yogurt.
Dinner: 5:30 - Grilled chicken sandwich and small fry from Wendy's since we (Adrian & I) had to eat on the way to the salon.
Snack: 10:30 - Fiber One bar, courtesy of my BFF. I will eat this after this post. It looks pretty tasty...Oats and chocolate or something like that.
I started the SlimQuick today and I have definitely noticed a difference. My hunger is down and my energy is up without the heart palpitations and without feeling like I'm bouncing off the wall.
Water: 120 oz.! :) One day down, 4 more to go before weigh-in day.
Exercise: Walked/jogged 1.45 miles in 22 min. 15 sec. which equates to a 15 min. 20 sec. mile. :D I'm pretty sure I broke a record with this (for myself obviously) and I'm super excited about it!
Sorry for being such a Debby Downer and broken record last night. This is so hard but I'm trying and I refuse to give up! :)
Breakfast: 9:15 - Jimmy Dean D-Light sausage w/egg white and cheese on whole grain English muffin, FF yogurt, SF applesauce, regular coffee w/SF vanilla creamer.
Lunch: 12:30 - Turkey sandwich on pita bread, baby carrots, apple, and light string cheese. I was completely stuffed after this meal and wasn't sure I was going to be able to get in my afternoon snack.
Snack: 2:30 - Baby carrots, peaches in lite syrup (made w/Splenda), and FF yogurt.
Dinner: 5:30 - Grilled chicken sandwich and small fry from Wendy's since we (Adrian & I) had to eat on the way to the salon.
Snack: 10:30 - Fiber One bar, courtesy of my BFF. I will eat this after this post. It looks pretty tasty...Oats and chocolate or something like that.
I started the SlimQuick today and I have definitely noticed a difference. My hunger is down and my energy is up without the heart palpitations and without feeling like I'm bouncing off the wall.
Water: 120 oz.! :) One day down, 4 more to go before weigh-in day.
Exercise: Walked/jogged 1.45 miles in 22 min. 15 sec. which equates to a 15 min. 20 sec. mile. :D I'm pretty sure I broke a record with this (for myself obviously) and I'm super excited about it!
Sorry for being such a Debby Downer and broken record last night. This is so hard but I'm trying and I refuse to give up! :)
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