Sunday, March 29, 2009

So I finally started one of the books that Becky mailed me...

It's called Overcoming Binge Eating by Dr. Christopher Fairburn. I managed to read through a whole chapter in like 10 minutes. It's such an easy read! :)

What I have decided, thus far, is that I don't think I'm a true binge eater. But then again, I don't know if you have to have all the symptoms/characteristics of binge eating to be a true binge eater?

What I can say is that:

1) I do get pleasure from eating my 'forbidden foods'...at first that is.
2) I do eat faster when I'm eating them...but that's just because I don't want to 'get caught' and I want to do it quickly and get it over with.
3) I do get agitated and extremely upset with myself when I'm done. I feel like a fat pig...a failure...a person with ZERO self-control. :(
4) I do find myself in an altered state of consciousness - i.e. sometimes I don't even realize it and feel like I'm on the outside looking in, if that makes any sense.
5) Secretiveness. Yeah...no one pretty much knows about the eating I do in secret. Prior to December, I'd just eat in front of whoever but after the lecture I got from Matt that will never happen again. Now mind you, I do NOT think he was out of line for talking to me about things but that was definitely an all time low for me. In some respects, him talking to me was not a bad thing.
6) Loss of Control - that kind of goes with #4.

I do find that a lot of the triggers he mentions (breaking a dietary rule, unstructured time, being alone, premenstrual (or during menstrual for me!) tension, and drinking alcohol), are definitely triggers for me.

Okay...so after typing that out, maybe I am a binge eater???

The crazy thing is that a binge for me isn't things like a 1/2 gallon of ice cream, followed by bowls and bowls of cereal, and then a package of cookies. For me it's like, 2-3 cupcakes, a 1/2 bag of chocolate covered peanuts, a large bowl of cereal...and not all together like that. Just one of those at a time.

I dunno. I'm interested to see what else I learn once I have more time to read.

For now, it's off to clean the house and work on cleaning/organizing the garage.

A HUGE thank you to my friend Becky for loaning me this book (and the other one that I plan on reading after finishing this one). I do think that even if I'm not a "binge eater", I think there are some very good things I can learn from these books.

4 comments:

MotherFingPrincess said...

I think we all binge on something or another. I am a Pepsi binge drinker, but we all know that by now -lol. I can check off everything you said on that list about my Pepsi drinking. Maybe that book could help me. Send some pointers my way, sister.

Jess said...

I've already read 5 chapters. :D I will definitely post about things that I think may help you or others.

Becky said...

I'm the same way, Jess. Sometimes I wonder if I truly binge, because I don't usually eat more than 5000 calories, and I think binges run around 10,000. I identify with binge eating in the way that once I start eating something "bad" it leads to days and days of bad and uncontrolled eating. I do best if I control what I eat, without restricting. So much of the books I could identify with. Other stuff, not so much. I consider myself a binge eater anyway - and definitely a disordered eater.

Jess said...

"I identify with binge eating in the way that once I start eating something "bad" it leads to days and days of bad and uncontrolled eating."

I'm right there with you, Becky...although it is getting a lot better. The longest I've been off plan since the beginning of the year is maybe 3-4 days. But still...I want to get to the point where I'm off no more than a meal or a day. Even better, I'd love to be able to just learn how to have the 'bad' foods in moderation every now and then.

The book has definitely got a lot of good info in it and I think I can learn a lot from it once I'm done and I start applying the things I've learned.

Thanks again for loaning the books to me. :)