I am struggling hardcore right now. I seriously don't know what the hell my problem is?! I'm not binging but I just can't seem to keep it on track. It all started with that damn business lunch last week. That just set the tone of my whole week and I'm finding it hard to veer the train back on track. The good news is that I have had a couple of good workouts.
My motivation is pretty much non-existent as far as housework and stuff goes. I told Matt today that the pound per week weight loss after flat busting my ass isn't helping matters any. I love all of my friends (and Matt) that are on this journey with me and I'm over-the-moon happy for them with their weight loss but I'll be really honest with you...I feel like I put in so much more work and that I deserve the same results. And I know before that I've said that I'd be happy with a pound weight loss and that a pound a week is over 50 lbs. per year but it's hard for me to be excited when I've already lost close to 20 lbs. and I look in the mirror and think "God, you are SUCH a fat ass and you have so much more weight to lose!" I feel like I've been living with blinders on for the past 10 years...like I just realized what a fat ass I am. I still have 80 m-effing pounds to go. It almost feels impossible...like I'm never going to get there.
But rest assured...I am not giving up. I feel like I've learned so much and that I'm going to make it this time but I'm not stupid...I know it's going to be a struggle. I just need to work on finding some direction and I need to find it on my own since no one else can do this for me.
4 comments:
You're not alone, Jess. Cathy and I are both struggling right now. Hang in there. Ride the wave and get back on the board as soon as you can.
I went to Stewarts Root Beer Stand yesterday. I felt guilty, but it was delicious! :o)
Thanks for the encouragement. It means a lot. :) I will and I am. It might take me a couple years to do this but I am committed to doing it and that's the key. :)
That sounds SO yummy! We were just talking about Stewart's yesterday but went to Sonic and got ice cream instead. Like you, I felt guilty but it had been what seemed like forever since I had good ice cream that the feeling didn't last for long, LOL!
You are definitely not alone! It's ridiculous how we can be such rock stars one week and then POOF! It's all gone
Big hugs, Jess. <3 Keep on going. You're well on your way!
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