24-Day Weight Loss Challenge - Day #2

Today was much better than yesterday! :)

Breakfast - Fiber drink, chocolate meal replacement shake, Spark energy drink
Lunch - Salad w/green peppers, cucumbers, spinach, sunflower seeds, smoked turkey breast, and balsamic vinaigrette dressing
Afternoon Snack - Large apple w/organic peanut butter
Dinner - Smoked turkey breast sandwich on wheat with/light mayo and broccoli w/cheese
Late Snack - Sugar-free cherry sno-cone and ETA banana
Daily activity: None (although do dishes count? I did those for over an hour tonight!)
Water: 85 oz.

I was SO tired today. I didn't get to bed until after midnight since I was up late taking an exam and it threw my whole day off. I only worked a half day too and so by the time I got home from the dentist (I had my 6 month check-up), it was 2:00 and I hadn't eaten since around 10:30 so I was starving. I decided to take a nap afterward and that didn't help much so I'm probably going to turn in early tonight.

Dinner kind of sucked. Matt is back doing low-carb and so he cooked breakfast for him and everyone else. I bought the cheap turkey from the Walmart deli and boy was that a mistake?! It was not white meat and it was very processed and very greasy. Yuck! I am definitely going to pick up some more turkey breast tomorrow and so I guess I'll have to actually fork out some money for some decent lunch meat.

Instead of mindlessly eating tonight (one of my most difficult times of the day), I decided to sit down and color with Collin. He loved the one-on-one time and it helped me keep my mind off of food. So yay for the small victories! :)

24-day Weight Loss Challenge - Day #1

I'm going to make this quick because I'm ready to fall asleep typing this.

Breakfast - Fiber drink, chocolate meal replacement shake, Spark energy drink
Morning Snack - Strawberries
Lunch - Salad w/green peppers, cucumbers, spinach, sunflower seeds, grilled chicken, and balsamic vinaigrette dressing
Afternoon Snack - Quaker Multigrain Fiber Crisps Wild Blueberry - YUMMY! 1 oz. almonds
Dinner - Grilled BBQ chicken breast, broccoli and cauliflower, and brown rice
Late Snack - Sugar-free cherry sno-cone, Quaker Weight Control banana bread oatmeal and large apple
Daily activity: 1/2 hour walk
ETA: 101 oz. water

I meant to eat an apple with my afternoon snack but got too busy at work to eat it. About 2 hours after dinner I was STARVING so that's why I ate the oatmeal and apple.

Comments so far:
- The fiber drink is NASTY! It is the consistency of thick applesauce but it's slimy
- I hope this hunger doesn't last long because I'm starving!
- I really liked the Spark drink and could see myself staying on this long-term. Tomorrow I'm going to add in another one in the afternoon since I was nearly falling asleep on the way home.
- This trying to get in a gallon of water every day is going to be the death of me.
- No crazy abdominal or gas pains (yet)

I was quite impressed because our challenge leader called me tonight personally to check in on me. I wonder if she's going to call me every night? Guess that means I'd better keep my ass on track, huh? ;)

Right back to where I started!

I did my official weigh-in today before the 24-day weight loss challenge begins and I am 247.7 lbs.! Grr! This is almost exactly the same weight as when I started about 2 years ago. How depressing?!

I'm not going to let it get me down though. I AM doing this, this time. I have such a great support system now and I am just plain ready. I feel probably the worst I've ever felt in my life. I'm tired 24-7, I get winded easily from simply walking, and I can barely fit any of my clothes, not to mention that I'm still having these damn heart palpitations.

Being overweight has so much more to do with than just lacking willpower. Too much to delve into in this post. I think the biggest thing for me is using food to fill something that I feel that I'm missing...whether that is consciously or subconsciously. What I am starting to realize is that I'm not really missing anything. I have no reason to be unhappy with my life and nor am I. I have a wonderful family, my health is good (for the most part), I have a good job, I have a place to live, and I am not living in poverty. I am very excited to finally get to read Women, Food, & God because I think I will be able to put all of the pieces of the puzzle together.

I used to be a very spiritual person. In fact, when I was a teenager I went to a Christian church every Sunday morning/night and Wednesday night as well as Youth nights on Friday and other church-related activities. There were a culmination of things that caused me to stop going. The main reason was that many of the people I went to church with were hypocrites and automatically thought that a person would go to hell if they didn't look or dress a certain way (they were Pentecostal). I do want to note that not all Pentecostals are this way because they're not but I had some pretty terrible experiences with church-goers and ministers alike so I don't think I will ever go back to that belief system again.

Let me go on record by saying that I do fully believe in God, the Creator (Wakan Tanka), whatever you want to call him or her. I just need to nail down exactly what I believe and I am excited to delve into that a bit more now and definitely more once I graduate from school. I think that I will be more comfortable with the spirituality of my Native American heritage and that is what I will focus on.

I can't remember if I mentioned this before but I will be food journaling to keep me accountable, as well as noting the day's activity/activities while I am doing this challenge. So...look for my first post tomorrow. :)

Ugh!

So I'm thinking that I really need to slow myself down. I came home tonight and was having hard core panic attacks. I haven't had those in YEARS! They were so bad that I *almost* had Matt take me to the ER. I ended up getting a glass of water and laying down to watch a movie. It helped out quite a bit but every time I think about how much stuff I have to do (like now?!) I start getting the heart palpitations and having a hard time breathing again.

*sigh*

One of these days I'll catch a break, right?! I know, I know...I do this to myself.

On a different note, we are kid-free this week. At first I was excited about it but now I'm really missing the boys. Tomorrow is my birthday and I've never not spent my birthday with them. Matt keeps telling me that he has some exciting stuff up his sleeves for tomorrow though so that will definitely help keep my mind off missing the little boogers. I dropped several subtle *cough* hints *cough* to him that I have been bummed about how shitty my birthdays have been for years so he says that he is trying to make it extra special for me.

I love this man and I can't wait to see what is in store for me tomorrow! :D

I'm going to start blogging again...

And I'm thinking hardcore about making my blog private again because I don't want certain people all up in my business. :) Leave me a comment if you want an invite and I'll get you one if I decide to go that route.

I've been busy, busy, busy (as usual) and I'm ready to start blogging again because I really need to. I'm starting a 24-day weight loss challenge through Advocare and an old friend from high school and I'm certain that I'll need to use this as an outlet/alternative to binge or mindlessly eating.

I'll be back on Sunday to let you all know what the initial weigh-in is. :o|

Well at least it's a loss, right?

Weekly weigh-in was today. I lost 1.4 lbs. I wish it were more but I've said this before...even at a pound a week, I could be under 200 lbs. by this time next year. AF *should* be here tomorrow so that might explain the low loss this week.

So...anyway...total weight loss since 4/7/10 is 7.7 lbs. :)

So much going on!

First of all, since I know you're on the edge of your seats, Weight Watchers is going extremely well! I *almost* completely stayed within my points for the first time in forever. I ruined it by going to the buffet with my family last night but I am proud to report that I only had one plate of food and then a small plate of dessert. Not shabby at all for me. Unfortunately, I gained 1.4 lbs. last week. I am chalking that up to being back on low-carb for a couple of weeks prior to then. I had to stop doing low-carb indefinitely because I was getting crazy heart palpatations and/or near panic attacks. I do have to say that I am at peace with this decision and I am taking this extremely serious this time. I think I can do this long-term because I'm starting to find my niche. I weigh-in on Wednesdays so I'll try to come back and update you then.

Now onto the crappy news. My kids have completely lost their minds. Adrian is having the worst behavior problems of his life. He actually faked being sick and skipped school about a week and a half ago! Ahhh! And so it begins. His grades went down too from the prior grading period and so he is grounded and then some through the end of the year. We have him in counseling right now and I wish I could say that it has helped but so far he has gotten worse. I may have mentioned before but he has Sensory Processing Disorder. In discussing his recent issues with school as well as socialization issues, his counselor believes that he may be high functioning Autistic. This is not a surprise to me. He has always been different. If he ends up being diagnosed as Autistic, I won't love him any less. At this point in time, I just want some help getting through these issues and getting him the help he needs to succeed in life.

Collin is having major behavioral issues too. The school (aka daycare) has recommended a professional evaluation by a local state agency and we have agreed to that. The school thinks he is ADHD, I think he has Sensory Processing Disorder (and that he's just on the complete opposite end of the spectrum as Adrian), and Matt thinks he is gifted (he is reading already, by the way - we just found this out from the school about two months ago). I don't care what he has, I just want some sense of normalcy back and want the exact same thing that I want for Adrian - for him to succeed in life and be happy. I have a feeling it's going to be a long few months since I'm certain we will be going through numerous tests, evaluations, etc. with both of the boys. When it rains, it pours.

On a happy note, I finally got the promotion I've been wanting for years! I am officially a Team Leader/Supervisor as of today. I won't say much about that because my blog is public. Don't be surprised at all if I don't mention my job from here on out for that reason.

On to other good news...we booked our Summer vacation. We're going to the Outerbanks in June and I CANNOT wait?! Not only have I always wanted to go, but I get to meet my BabyCenter buddies, Becky and Sara for a girls' night out and maybe even a play date. The bad news is that I just realized that we booked our vacation during my youngest sister's graduation. Talk about feeling terrible?! :( Thankfully, DeeDee knows that this doesn't mean that I don't love her. It just means that I'll be giving her additional money for her graduation present to ease my guilt, LOL!

Those are the quick updates in a nutshell. I haven't been able to update much because this quarter is pretty terrible with the Statistics class I'm taking (from an instructor who doesn't know how to teach). I suspect that won't change much until after this quarter, but I'll at least try to be back on weigh-in days and with quick updates on the boys.