Saturday, July 31, 2010

24-Day Weight Loss Challenge - Day #12

I didn't post last night because I fell asleep...oops!

Breakfast - chocolate meal replacement shake, Spark energy drink
Lunch - broccoli & carrots and turkey breast
Afternoon Snack - almonds
Dinner - Chef salad w/balsamic vinaigrette dressing
Daily activity: nothing
Water: 64 oz.

I had a effing client meeting today which explains why my water was down and why I didn't get to work out. My caseload got decreased at work yesterday so I am hoping to get my stress levels down there and be able to work out more consistently during lunch. Eventually I won't have a caseload and that will be NICE! :)

I also can't believe that I'm halfway through the challenge?! Yay!

Thursday, July 29, 2010

24-Day Weight Loss Challenge - Day #11

Breakfast - chocolate meal replacement shake, Spark energy drink
Lunch - McDonald's grilled chicken salad w/low-fat balsamic vinaigrette dressing
Afternoon Snack - almonds
Dinner - Weight Watchers Smart Ones Santa Fe Style Rice & Beans
Late snack: wine? (haven't decided on this just yet but I'm only at 1,000 or so calories for the day)
Daily activity: nothing - and I'm pissed about this
Water: 80 oz.

This week has just plain sucked. Today was terrible because I am absolutely swamped at work so I worked through my lunch; well...I went to get a salad but then ate it while I worked and didn't get a chance to work out. I ended up having to work until after 8:00 tonight to work on some meeting reports for tomorrow. There was some other stressful stuff that happened at work that I can't divulge here. Not to mention that we found out that an employee that was found deceased earlier this week actually committed suicide. :*( She wasn't in my department and I didn't know her well but I had talked to her occasionally and saw her daily. I just can't imagine how much physical and emotional pain that someone would have to be in to make that kind of decision. I'm still in shock...such a sad, sad situation.

Back to the challenge...I read over the recommended meal plans for this stage in the game and it's fricking low-carb (although it's low-fat, high protein so not Atkins)!!! I had no clue. I mean, I don't care that much because I know I can do it but I was actually starting to enjoy fruit, dammit. That's okay though...it's only for two more weeks (starting tomorrow since I didn't do too well today).

I have made up my mind that I am doing Weight Watchers for sure once I am done with this program. I know it works...I just have to stick with it and make good food choices. I think I'll actually cancel my on-line membership and then go to meetings but I'm not certain yet. I think that if I decide to go that route that it will keep me more accountable. Plus, I could make it to where I do Monday weigh-ins to keep myself on the straight and narrow over the weekends. I don't know for sure but I'll keep you posted.

ETA: I started the MNS Max 3 supplements today and they definitely work! I was hardly hungry at all today. :)

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

24-Day Weight Loss Challenge - Day #10

Breakfast - fiber drink, Spark energy drink
Lunch - grilled chicken salad w/balsamic vinaigrette dressing
Afternoon Snack - 1/2 banana, Spark energy drink
Dinner - Grilled chicken sandwich, french fries, and 2 1/2 chicken tenders (I ate some of Collin's leftovers)
Late snack: Cotton candy and one funnel cake fry
Daily activity: walking - 1/2 hour
Water: 70 oz.

It was a weird day. I only worked a 1/2 day and so since I was super busy at work, I didn't get a chance to eat breakfast. Once I got home, I did make myself a salad (instead of stopping at a drive through on the way home) for lunch. We took the boys to a baseball game tonight and I started out with good intentions...I packed a banana and rice cakes for a snack for after dinner. But I blew that all to hell when I bought myself dinner. I could have actually bought a salad for dinner but I didn't because I was too lazy to walk myself over to another vendor to get food. Instead I bought my dinner at the same place I bought the boys and they had no healthy choices whatsoever (in my opinion). As far as dinner goes, I only bought the sandwich and then helped Collin eat his fries and chicken tenders since I was starving (probably because I didn't have breakfast). Then I shared cotton candy with Collin and tried one of Adrian's funnel cake fries. How the hell I stopped from eating more than that one funnel cake fry is totally beyond me???

So...needless to say, I am bummed that I didn't stay on plan today. I think I could have but I was just little lazy. Now the good news is that I did log everything in my Sparkpeople food tracker and I was still under 2000 calories, which surprised the hell out of me; I've been eating between 1200 and 1600 normally. I tried really, really hard to think about everything I was eating and do it within moderation. I am pleasantly surprised to see that my efforts paid off. :)

Back to clean/healthy eating tomorrow though! I'm not letting this derail my progress...no way, no how! :)

I'm totally blaming a big part of this on mother nature too...BITCH.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

24-Day Weight Loss Challenge - Day #9

Breakfast - fiber drink, chocolate meal replacement shake, Spark energy drink
Lunch - grilled chicken salad w/balsamic vinaigrette dressing
Afternoon Snack - almonds and an apple
Dinner - Oatmeal w/peanut butter and brown sugar.
Daily activity: 1/2 hour on the elliptical (holy hell! 2 days in a row?!)
Water: 96 oz.

I decided that I am going to try to ramp the exercise up this week to see if that helps with the weight loss. Plus AF is here so that is certain to shoot my weigh-in all to hell. :(

Depending on how this challenge goes, I'm *contemplating* becoming an Advocare distributor. It will help me get a discount on my stuff and I can make a little money on the side (I think?). There are already several people that I've talked to about the products and they're interested so I think I could have a small client base. Plus, let's face it...I work in an office and office workers are always looking for a way to lose weight and/or get healthy. I dunno...we'll see since it's a little early in the game...

Tomorrow is the last day of the cleanse part of the challenge...thank God! I don't think I could drink more than another fiber drink! Blech.

Monday, July 26, 2010

24-Day Weight Loss Challenge - Day #8

Breakfast - chocolate meal replacement shake, Spark energy drink
Lunch - McDonald's grilled chicken bacon ranch salad with balsamic vinaigrette dressing
Afternoon Snack - Tuna salad w/wheat crackers and a banana
Dinner - Pan fried pork chops (x2 small), brown rice, and brussel sprouts
Evening Snack - Apple w/peanut butter.
Daily activity: 1/2 hour on the elliptical
Water: 96 oz.

I was so peeved about lunch. I forgot my damn pre-cooked grilled chicken so I had to go get a salad at lunch today. McDonald's salads are actually not too bad as far as salads go...Wendy's seem to be the worst (and those are my favorite! :( ). Anywho...I cooked dinner tonight and it was YUMMY! I used olive oil in the recipe and I will definitely make this again because it was so simple that even I could cook it?!

As far as the elliptical goes...I ROCKED it today! I was feeling awesome so I really pushed myself and went over 1.7 miles and burned over 330 calories . YEAH!

As far as the competition goes, I am in second place! :) I am behind the leader by .03%. I'm a little bummed that I'm not in first, but we still have 17 days to go and 3 more weigh-ins so I have plenty of time to pull it off. Keep your fingers crossed!

Sunday, July 25, 2010

24-Day Weight Loss Challenge - Day #7

Breakfast - chocolate meal replacement shake w/peanut butter and a banana - YUMMY!, Spark energy drink
Lunch - McDonald's grilled chicken bacon ranch salad with low-fat balsamic vinaigrette dressing instead of ranch
Afternoon Snack - 1/2 banana
Dinner - oatmeal w/peanut butter and brown sugar
Daily activity: None
Water: 85 oz.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

24-Day Weight Loss Challenge - Day #6

Breakfast - chocolate meal replacement shake, Spark energy drink
Lunch - salad w/lettuce, green peppers, sunflower seeds, cucumbers, grilled chicken, and balsamic vinaigrette dressing
Afternoon Snack - Spark energy drink, apple w/peanut butter and broccoli w/cheese
Dinner - garlic kissed pork loin chops, broccoli, and brown rice
Daily activity: None
Water: 93 oz.

I am starting to lose my mind over the lack of sugar. I just want a taste soooo bad! Nothing will do in place of the real thing. Grr!

The effing scale better show some results tomorrow!

ETA: Evening Snack: rice cakes w/peanut butter - killed my sugar craving...yeah! :)

Friday, July 23, 2010

24-Day Weight Loss Challenge - Day #5

Breakfast - chocolate meal replacement shake, Spark energy drink
Morning snack: banana
Lunch - salad w/spinach, green peppers, sunflower seeds, cucumbers, turkey, and balsamic vinaigrette dressing
Afternoon Snack - carrots & broccoli, tuna salad w/whole wheat crackers
Dinner - Oatmeal w/peanut butter and brown sugar Splenda blend
Daily activity: 1/2 hour on the elliptical
Water: 93 oz.

Can you tell I cooked my own dinner, LOL? I loved it though! :)

Thursday, July 22, 2010

24-Day Weight Loss Challenge - Day #4

Breakfast - chocolate meal replacement shake, Spark energy drink
Morning snack: banana
Lunch - Wendy's baja salad - mid-sized with no tortilla chips and only a 1/2 serving of jalapeno dressing
Afternoon Snack - carrots & broccoli, almonds, and mini rice cakes
Dinner - Veggie Omelet made with egg whites, spinach, and salsa, broccoli, and one piece of whole wheat toast w/strawberry jam
Daily activity: Nothing; unless you count walking around Walmart for an hour. :)
Water: 88 oz.

I didn't pack my lunch today, hence the Wendy's salad. I agonized over this choice. I really should have picked a grilled chicken salad (since I'm not supposed to have red meat) but in my opinion, it was the lesser of the evils and I was really, really craving Mexican. Matt didn't feel like cooking tonight since he works in a steel mill and it was close to 100 degrees in there today so since we had errands to run, we ate at Bob Evans. I was very happy with my choice. I'm sure I shouldn't have had the strawberry jam but there was no way in hell I was eating my toast plain.

As I mentioned we went to Walmart afterward. An interesting thing happened. I think I forgot to mention that my anxiety attacks have been dwindling and I haven't had very many issues at all this week. As soon as we walked by a display of chocolate chip cookies, I started having anxiety issues! I have never put two and two together and figured that out before. Interesting...

I'm doing well though. I'm thinking about boycotting Facebook for awhile because it seems like every one of my friends is baking cupcakes this week?! The lack of sugar is starting to get to me. Not physically...more mentally than anything.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

24-Day Weight Loss Challenge - Day #3

Breakfast - Fiber drink, chocolate meal replacement shake, Spark energy drink
Lunch - Salad w/green peppers, cucumbers, spinach, sunflower seeds, grilled chicken, and balsamic vinaigrette dressing
Afternoon Snack - Fat-free tuna salad w/whole wheat crackers and a large apple
Dinner - BBQ chicken breast, broccoli, and brown rice
Late snack: sugar-free strawberry flavored applesauce
Daily activity: 1/2 hour on the elliptical - burned 330 calories and went 1.59 miles!!! :)
Water: 101 oz.

I made the mistake of getting on the scale this morning and almost cried when it showed a .1 pound loss?! That's it...I'm not weighing in again until Sunday! (yeah, right...we'll see how long that lasts!)

I did NOT want to work out today. I had to force myself and then I had to keep talking myself into staying on the damn elliptical the whole time I was on there. I felt awesome afterward though. As much as I love being outside while walking, I think I'm going to stick with the elliptical since I get more "bang for my buck".

By the way, the fat free tuna salad is the fricking BOMB! I have never tasted tuna salad so good?! What a great idea for a snack?! :) I highly recommend it!

As far as how I'm doing, physically I feel much better today than I did yesterday. I got probably 45 minutes more sleep though. I'm still not having any crazy gas, bloating, or abdominal pain with the cleanse either. Yay for not having to "GO" 24-7 too!

ETA: I ate an applesauce after this post because I couldn't stand the hunger anymore. I can't believe how sweet it tasted?!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

24-Day Weight Loss Challenge - Day #2

Today was much better than yesterday! :)

Breakfast - Fiber drink, chocolate meal replacement shake, Spark energy drink
Lunch - Salad w/green peppers, cucumbers, spinach, sunflower seeds, smoked turkey breast, and balsamic vinaigrette dressing
Afternoon Snack - Large apple w/organic peanut butter
Dinner - Smoked turkey breast sandwich on wheat with/light mayo and broccoli w/cheese
Late Snack - Sugar-free cherry sno-cone and ETA banana
Daily activity: None (although do dishes count? I did those for over an hour tonight!)
Water: 85 oz.

I was SO tired today. I didn't get to bed until after midnight since I was up late taking an exam and it threw my whole day off. I only worked a half day too and so by the time I got home from the dentist (I had my 6 month check-up), it was 2:00 and I hadn't eaten since around 10:30 so I was starving. I decided to take a nap afterward and that didn't help much so I'm probably going to turn in early tonight.

Dinner kind of sucked. Matt is back doing low-carb and so he cooked breakfast for him and everyone else. I bought the cheap turkey from the Walmart deli and boy was that a mistake?! It was not white meat and it was very processed and very greasy. Yuck! I am definitely going to pick up some more turkey breast tomorrow and so I guess I'll have to actually fork out some money for some decent lunch meat.

Instead of mindlessly eating tonight (one of my most difficult times of the day), I decided to sit down and color with Collin. He loved the one-on-one time and it helped me keep my mind off of food. So yay for the small victories! :)

Monday, July 19, 2010

24-day Weight Loss Challenge - Day #1

I'm going to make this quick because I'm ready to fall asleep typing this.

Breakfast - Fiber drink, chocolate meal replacement shake, Spark energy drink
Morning Snack - Strawberries
Lunch - Salad w/green peppers, cucumbers, spinach, sunflower seeds, grilled chicken, and balsamic vinaigrette dressing
Afternoon Snack - Quaker Multigrain Fiber Crisps Wild Blueberry - YUMMY! 1 oz. almonds
Dinner - Grilled BBQ chicken breast, broccoli and cauliflower, and brown rice
Late Snack - Sugar-free cherry sno-cone, Quaker Weight Control banana bread oatmeal and large apple
Daily activity: 1/2 hour walk
ETA: 101 oz. water

I meant to eat an apple with my afternoon snack but got too busy at work to eat it. About 2 hours after dinner I was STARVING so that's why I ate the oatmeal and apple.

Comments so far:
- The fiber drink is NASTY! It is the consistency of thick applesauce but it's slimy
- I hope this hunger doesn't last long because I'm starving!
- I really liked the Spark drink and could see myself staying on this long-term. Tomorrow I'm going to add in another one in the afternoon since I was nearly falling asleep on the way home.
- This trying to get in a gallon of water every day is going to be the death of me.
- No crazy abdominal or gas pains (yet)

I was quite impressed because our challenge leader called me tonight personally to check in on me. I wonder if she's going to call me every night? Guess that means I'd better keep my ass on track, huh? ;)

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Right back to where I started!

I did my official weigh-in today before the 24-day weight loss challenge begins and I am 247.7 lbs.! Grr! This is almost exactly the same weight as when I started about 2 years ago. How depressing?!

I'm not going to let it get me down though. I AM doing this, this time. I have such a great support system now and I am just plain ready. I feel probably the worst I've ever felt in my life. I'm tired 24-7, I get winded easily from simply walking, and I can barely fit any of my clothes, not to mention that I'm still having these damn heart palpitations.

Being overweight has so much more to do with than just lacking willpower. Too much to delve into in this post. I think the biggest thing for me is using food to fill something that I feel that I'm missing...whether that is consciously or subconsciously. What I am starting to realize is that I'm not really missing anything. I have no reason to be unhappy with my life and nor am I. I have a wonderful family, my health is good (for the most part), I have a good job, I have a place to live, and I am not living in poverty. I am very excited to finally get to read Women, Food, & God because I think I will be able to put all of the pieces of the puzzle together.

I used to be a very spiritual person. In fact, when I was a teenager I went to a Christian church every Sunday morning/night and Wednesday night as well as Youth nights on Friday and other church-related activities. There were a culmination of things that caused me to stop going. The main reason was that many of the people I went to church with were hypocrites and automatically thought that a person would go to hell if they didn't look or dress a certain way (they were Pentecostal). I do want to note that not all Pentecostals are this way because they're not but I had some pretty terrible experiences with church-goers and ministers alike so I don't think I will ever go back to that belief system again.

Let me go on record by saying that I do fully believe in God, the Creator (Wakan Tanka), whatever you want to call him or her. I just need to nail down exactly what I believe and I am excited to delve into that a bit more now and definitely more once I graduate from school. I think that I will be more comfortable with the spirituality of my Native American heritage and that is what I will focus on.

I can't remember if I mentioned this before but I will be food journaling to keep me accountable, as well as noting the day's activity/activities while I am doing this challenge. So...look for my first post tomorrow. :)

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Ugh!

So I'm thinking that I really need to slow myself down. I came home tonight and was having hard core panic attacks. I haven't had those in YEARS! They were so bad that I *almost* had Matt take me to the ER. I ended up getting a glass of water and laying down to watch a movie. It helped out quite a bit but every time I think about how much stuff I have to do (like now?!) I start getting the heart palpitations and having a hard time breathing again.

*sigh*

One of these days I'll catch a break, right?! I know, I know...I do this to myself.

On a different note, we are kid-free this week. At first I was excited about it but now I'm really missing the boys. Tomorrow is my birthday and I've never not spent my birthday with them. Matt keeps telling me that he has some exciting stuff up his sleeves for tomorrow though so that will definitely help keep my mind off missing the little boogers. I dropped several subtle *cough* hints *cough* to him that I have been bummed about how shitty my birthdays have been for years so he says that he is trying to make it extra special for me.

I love this man and I can't wait to see what is in store for me tomorrow! :D

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

I'm going to start blogging again...

And I'm thinking hardcore about making my blog private again because I don't want certain people all up in my business. :) Leave me a comment if you want an invite and I'll get you one if I decide to go that route.

I've been busy, busy, busy (as usual) and I'm ready to start blogging again because I really need to. I'm starting a 24-day weight loss challenge through Advocare and an old friend from high school and I'm certain that I'll need to use this as an outlet/alternative to binge or mindlessly eating.

I'll be back on Sunday to let you all know what the initial weigh-in is. :o|